#2 In my 20s … and on my journey

Posted Thursday, March 12th, 2009. Filed Under Voices of youth

My friend, this young woman, who signed her name as “C”  — that ‘s what we’ll call her — has written a follow up to her first article which I just posted recently. I just received this in the last few days.  “C” and I have so much in common, we are both twin to boys and it seems as though our journey mirror one another in many ways, except that I am 17 years older than her.  What I love about my friend is that she is experiencing, learning and have awareness about subjects and things that took until my late 30s! She is a client and I love watching her grow and empower herself.  I know when she returns we will discuss ways her and I can collaborate on different projects.

Here is her newest experiences and awareness:

Hey Sandra,

Here is article #2

Update

Today is the first day of the second semester; it also marks the halfway point for me on this island- six months.  A lot has happened since I wrote last, in fact, too much to describe in a short article, so I wish to focus on the dominant theme of this experience.  It is love– a very powerful force.  As it happens, Jeju Island is referred to as the island of Love. This is because it used to be the popular honeymoon destination for Koreans living on the mainland.  In fact, there is a Love museum and a sex and health museum on the island.  For foreign English teachers, it used to be the quiet and laid back destination for couples, but it now attracts anyone who wants to be closer to nature, outdoor activities and a more relaxed lifestyle.

I began questioning the idea of love on a deeper level before heading to Korea, but it has transformed into a quest while on this island. As I am on my own in a foreign culture, an outsider at my workplace, live on my own and only answer to myself here, I am exploring what love really means. This may sound silly, but I feel like a child discovering and questioning this term –love: Unlearning all that I have been taught and experiencing it in a new form.  What speaks to me in volumes is the wonderful feeling of the energy of love to the extreme contrast of feeling no love- just disgust and rejection.  I use music, writing, drawing and reiki to explore the differences and it is quite something! 

For the first time, I am beginning to understand how experiences through a lens of love, feels very different to one of rejecting love.  My students have been my biggest teachers and mirrors to how I accept and reject this great force.  As children are so honest with their feelings, there is no holding back. I experience this on a daily basis with my students.  I found myself overwhelmed by the amount of love my students were sharing with me at the beginning and felt very hurt by the rejection from some of my very difficult students. It became clear to me that children are definitely vulnerable and loving beings and that they will respond and open up when they trust you, however, sometimes this requires being tested, which can be a painful road.  And I am no different to a child when it relates to love.

I was also touched by the generosity and spirit of love by many of my Korean co-workers here, in particular three women who I carpool with every day to school. I remember feeling shocked by this in my heart, sometimes observing myself questioning the authenticity of their generosity, but it was real, and continues to be very real.

New friendships and a brief love encounter, have expanded my heart, and made it feel alive in every sense- at least I know now that I have a heart and it is working ha!

I am now at the stage on this journey of love questioning society’s rules, it’s power (non-judgment and acceptance of what is), and the giving and receiving of this force in general.  It is very clear to me that Truth and Love are the most important components of life, and experiences continually reveal something new to me.

I am eternally grateful, and continue along this path.  Thanks. C

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