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When There Is No Light
I have been on a journey for more than a decade and even to this day there are times that I turn to my girl friends to hold my light when all I can see is darkness. I am working to neutralize these incidents by taking back my power and not letting the anger, frustration, or whatever hold me and control me.  It is not always easy. 
While today I do see much “light” there were times in my journey when all I saw was blackness and despair. My friends saw otherwise and I am so grateful that they  just let me be knowing that this will change and is not the case.

Some of you may have those types of friendships where he or she can do this for you, “hold your light” in your darkest times. For those that do not please allow me, my site, to hold the intention for you. I send you love and light and just know that there will come a time that that light will shine for you – you will FEEL a sense of peace, joy, love and happiness.  TRUST.

I wanted to share an article by a friend, Allison Morin. I met her in one of my courses at Transformational Arts College. It was taught by the co-founder and was very interesting.  Allison is an amazing women who has found her light, her passion and she shares this in her article, Finding Your True Path.

Enjoy!

Finding your true path
By: Allison Morin
Passion/Empowerment Coach 

                        Have you ever wondered what your true path is in life? Perhaps you have found it and are living it…Congratulations! But if you are like many people you are not sure what that may be or you may have a hint but haven’t pursued it full time.

                        Finding your true path in life can be very difficult given all the outside circumstances and influences we face. We get a great deal of advice and influence from friends, family and society on how we should live our lives and what it should look like. If it deviates from the norm, we may be ostracized from others and considered weird or living in a “dreamland”.

            Maybe this is why some of us are so afraid to follow our dreams! We are so deeply rooted to our relationships and what society thinks that we can’t bear the rejection. We would rather suffer in silence in a job/situation that is deemed “acceptable” by society than to go out and do what your heart desires, no matter what the cost. Other times, perhaps we just don’t know what our heart desires, and by just being an unsatisfactory situation will allow you to put more clarity to what you truly want or find you the help you need to uncover it. It may be closer than you think.

            The path you take in life will never be a straight road, there will always be twists and turns along the way, but that enables us to be open to discovering what we like and what we don’t like.

My own journey of discovering my true path, had led me through a variety of positions in different industries, all the way from the television industry to the financial industry. I was going from one role to the next, thinking that the next job will be more fulfilling, but they all left me missing something. I felt a deep need to discover what that was.

During this time I decided that I had enough of ignoring my innerself and decided to listen. Really listen. What did my true self really want? I knew I wanted to give something back of myself that others truly needed and that really made me feel good doing it. But what was that? 

What I discovered when I listened to that “quiet” answer from within, was right in front of me the entire time! My true talents and gifts were the ones that came really easy to me and didn’t think were exceptional. And that was the ability to help people discover their true path.

At work or wherever I was, I would really listen intently to people and would ask them specific questions about their lives and I would get really excited to see people “light” up inside when they started talking about the things they love to do. I would offer suggestions and/or help point them in the direction in order to start bringing more of their passions into their lives. This gave me the greatest satisfaction. Knowing that I helped someone become excited about their life and help consider the wonderful possibilities that may be in store for them.

So I decided to follow my heart and become a life coach and now I can help people discover their inner gifts and talents and bring them out to be experienced by themselves and others.

            When you are living from within and when your passions are being expressed you truly “light” up! Once it is lit, nothing else matters and you just know that you have to show and share it with others. To cover it up for the sake of others opinions/feelings is like putting a cloak over a Christmas tree after it has been decorated! So I encourage you to take some time to ask yourself what makes you “light” up? The answers may surprise you. You may just find them under your nose! Or “under your tree!”

Happy travels!

Much love, Allison Morin
Passion/Empowerment Coach
aimorin@rogers.com

I have asked Maritza to write about this topic from a different perspective than me. I wanted to cover the more emotional and spiritual end of it and she wrote from the more professional perspective.

Relationship To Money – Sandra’s Perpective:

Many people before me and many after me will address this issue of financial literacy however where we differ is our approach. My site is about empowerment – taking back our power as well as taking accountability and responsibility for our actions and choices, thus our outcomes.

PROBLEM

What many do not realize is that our actions are the result of our subconscious, core beliefs – things so buried in us that often we don’t even know why situations happen UNLESS we actively decide to look from within.

NEED TO KNOW WHERE TO START

The first place to start is understanding that our external relationships – finance, family, friends, work, and most importantly the one with ourselves, is the MANIFESTATION or result of how we feel and think from within – who we are. What does that mean? It means if you look in the mirror and you see someone who is ugly, fat, too short, too tall, a loser, things never go right for them, is always short of money, all you can see is debt or bills, worries a lot, it never works out for me, woe is me, THEN it is difficult to say to others “Yes, I can do it! Yes, I am worthy” and really feel it. Perhaps the situation has been that you tell yourself that you are good enough, smart enough and so on however you are surrounded by people that always bring you down, criticize you or worse, these people are not as prevalent in your life BUT the self-critic carries on.

It is also important to examine the core beliefs you hold. With regards to money and abundance what are the belief systems that you were instilled with? Were you told that money does not grow on tress? OR Money is the root of all evil? OR Only those that have money will be successful? OR We are not made of money? OR This is our lot in life – accept it? It is critical to understand what your beliefs are in order for you to move forward and begin this journey.
** I have an exercise and do it at your leisure – sit down and write out your core beliefs about money and wealth on the left-hand side of the page and on the right-hand side you will mark one of these: this is a core belief that is serving me well, this does not serve me well and I want to let it go and release it, this is not my belief rather my father/mother/grandparent/etc. – I hand it back. This will give you a good indication of where you are starting at.

As far as receiving – it is far easier to give to someone else than to receive. In order to receive – or call it being successful – you must love and honour yourself and feel worthy. While I have been privileged in many ways and money has come and gone in my life – it is only after 40+ years that I truly feel myself worthy of receiving and my abundance has come in many different ways – through family, creating my work, and gifts (a meal, my gas paid for at times, trips offered to me, etc.). I accept all graciously an am grateful for all.

Maritza’s Perspective — My relationship to money: from my personal experiences from work

Four questions I would like to address from the book called The Energy of Money by Maria Nemeth, Ph.D. in relationship to my personal experiences from work are;

1. Do you recall your mother’s or father’s relationship with money?

2. Did you dream of one day having a particular job or career? Was the amount of money you could earn a factor in your choice of careers?

3. Have you ever accomplished an important task or project involving money? What was it? What did you do that made you successful?

4. Regarding money, for what do you want to be known? If people were to talk about you and your relationship with money, what would you want them to say?

I recalled when I was about 13 years old my mom and dad owned a grocery store. Each night after a long day at work, working from 7am to 10pm, they would come home and bring the cash in a small brown bag. I remember I use to wait for them to come home so I could count the dollars bills, although I had to go to school the next day it was all worth the wait. I used to stack them up all facing the same direction and count them. I felt so happy; I felt we were rich because they were about 100 dollars in one-dollar bills. Growing up my parents always owned a grocery store, at one point we had three stores. I felt we lived in abundance, my brother and I went to private school we always had money around the house. I always noticed my dad, in particular, was a generous person. He always supported our family and friends with any financial set-backs. From a very young age, my relationship to money was very similar to my dad; we love making it, having it and giving it away to support and empower others.

Growing up in a household where we always owned a business inspired me to become an entrepreneur myself. I chose my career in the financial market because although owning a grocery store gave us the monetary support, I knew I wanted more. As well, I chose the financial arena because growing up and reading in the history books of amazing successful people, I wanted to become one myself, make lots of money and I too wanted to support and empower others financially.

Three major accomplishments involving money were; establishing a hamburger truck business, creating an eight story building and creating and designing our restaurant. These were the three proudest businesses in my husband and I career. What we did that made each of these venture successful was that each establishment created was built with lots of love and care. We built the building as if we were going to live there; we made the hamburgers as if they were going to be serving in a five star restaurant and our families were going to eat them; and we built the restaurant as if my grandparents were coming to visit us and I wanted them to feel at home. I always say that service has no competition, it’s your uniqueness that’s what makes a business successful giving the best service anyone can ever experience and then some.

To answer the last question: Regarding money, for what do you want to be known? If people were to talk about you and your relationship with money, what would you want them to say?

I want to be known as a successful powerful woman who has enough money to care for my family and empower others to become successful as well. What I will love people to remember me by and my relationship to money is “Maritza is a successful women who went beyond her own personal needs and chose to live in abundance for the universe – empowering others and making a difference in this world. Her generosity can be felt in many causes around the world. She is a true joy to talk to and is always willing to empower others in their passions!

Maritza

I have become an associate memember of Spirituelle Divas – a group of like-minded women who are on their own paths of awareness who support, ecourage and empower one another. There are study groups, events, seminars, workshops and more.
I have joined the group of women studying the Tao Te Ching – Dr. Wayne Dyer’s version. I have a different version of this work – I find it is good to have a variety of thought. This past week the topic of boundaries came up. I know that there are no coincidences for this is the workshop that I am working on right now that I will host next Thursday and Saturday. I chose this for this is something that me, myself constantly struggle with – setting boundaries with family, my ex, the lawyers, friends, etc. It is something that is in our everyday life.
Recently, I was on a cruise for a week and I shared the topics of my workshops with a lovely couple I met who happen to live in the same city as me and the woman told me that even to this day – she is in her late 60s/early 70s – she finds it difficult to say no to her children. In this case, we can sometimes find ourselves enabling our children. Learning to educate and empower our children that speaking their truth is good however lack of gratitude for things, having a sense of entitlement, and just pacifying our children is not the answer and can lead to creating behaviours in our children that in the long run do not benefit them.

WHY IT IS SO DIFFICULT
For me it was hard to say no for I was the girl who always did the right thing. If I wanted to say no and didn’t it often came down to, “I feel guilty”. I was the one that people always relied on – especially to say yes. For many, many years I did so and then I took a course and realized that it is ok to say no and NOT FEEL GUILTY. Wow, what a revelation. I understood that saying NO was ok however if I said yes than I have no right to complain for I made that decision.

To me “boundaries” is about loving and honouring yourself. You are saying that “you are not allowed to bring your negative energy into my space; that you cannot make me feel guitly anymore; that I know who I am and NO ONE can bring me down”. It is also about saying YES THIS IS WHO I AM AND I BELIEVE IN MYSELF NO MATTER WHAT YOU THINK OR FEEL ABOUT ME”.

Love, honour and believe in yourself!!

All my best,

Sandra

This is the time of year that many of you are graduating – some to college, some to university, some to trade programs and some who may want to travel or see what is out there.

What ever it is you have chosen just know that life is a journey and you do not have to have all of the answers NOW. You will be taken down many paths so please stay open to the learning along the way. The path along the journey is crooked, bumpy, smooth, easy, challenging and more. The awareness that you will learn along the way can be used in your lifetime to benefit not only you yet perhaps many others.

There is one piece of advice that I will give you ALWAYS TRUST YOUR HEART (ENERGY) AND GUT TO TAKE YOU ALONG YOUR PATH.

Enjoy this moment!

All my best,

Sandra

I have featured this women before and I absolutely love her and her work. Saskia Shakin is someone who has come into my life and I am very grateful. I have featured her book many times, More Than Words Can Say: The Making of Inspired Speakers.
I wanted to share a piece that she wrote for me from her own experience and awareness. I find it timely for I know that life is a mirror and that people, experiences, situations, events come into our lives for a reason. It also shows us where we are at internally with ourselves. I do not judge it.

Let me share Saskia’s work:
WE ALWAYS TEACH WHAT WE NEED TO LEARN

Let me be frank: I have mixed feelings about getting up in public to speak before large groups. This should come as no surprise since the fear of public speaking tops almost everyone’s list—surpassing death itself! As Jerry Seinfeld puts it, “If you were invited to give a eulogy at a funeral, you’d rather be the guy in the casket than the one at the podium!”

But what may come as a surprise is that for almost 30 years I have made a handsome living from coaching others to speak in public—before large groups and small; before
juries deliberating complex issues; in Congress; at shareholders meetings; and with clients giving keynote speeches.

My career has surprised me: I never imagined I’d have landed in the Boardrooms of
Corporate American, nor the courtrooms where major cases were being hashed out, nor in limousines coaching CEO’s en route to a flight, nor in airplanes, posh hotels, and on expense accounts. The work was demanding and exhilarating. The high fees I’ve commanded, the accolades, the prestige, and the perks made my work fun and gratifying.
So why, then, would I rather avoid doing the very thing I coach others in?

I am reminded here of a line from Woody Allen’s classic Annie Hall: “Those who can do, do; those who can’t do, teach; and those who can’t teach, teach gym!”

For years, I preferred to help others hone their message, find their passion, and convey their joy (or at least, their information). But now, it has all come home to roost, for I am on a different path, having completed a book on the subject, called, “More Than
Words Can Say: The Making of Inspired Speakers.” It is now my turn to do the lecture circuit: market my book, speak before groups, and sell, sell, sell!

For years, I dreaded the thought. I avoided it and even vowed that I’d never write a book.
I kept that pledge for well over 20 years, happy to be running seminars, coaching brilliant clients to open their hearts & minds, proud as a mother hen when her children succeeded, and content to remain behind the scenes.

Don’t get me wrong. It’s not that I never went before an audience. I had my fair share of presentations, keynote speeches of my own, and informal talks. But the thought of appearing before a huge audience, one I did not know, and speaking about my book, made me feel like a used-car salesman in a tacky, plaid suit, hawking his wares.

So, I had to coach myself. And my coaching always starts with awareness—self-awareness (the hardest kind to come by). But there I met resistance. Resistance is the dance partner of awareness. They waltz around, sometimes one leading, sometimes the other. And when resistance had stepped on the toes of awareness once too many times, awareness finally waltzed off alone.

Dancing solo is most liberating. No one else pushing you where you don’t wish to go.
No one else’s agenda is besting your own. When my own awareness found its voice, I realized that speaking with others holds no fear for me. One-on-one is my medium.
Total strangers are constantly confiding in me. New acquaintances appear to be old friends. Old friends share deep parts of themselves that they share with very few others.

Small groups hold no fright either. I have been running seminars for almost 30 years.
I have been in classrooms with 6 – 200. My seminars get consistently rave reviews and in some firms have had waiting lists of two years. So, you might ask, what’s your problem? Why do you resist larger audiences? After all, you know what it takes to charm, seduce, embrace, inform, and inspire? You’ve seen clients transform from boring to sparkling all the time. You’ve been there, yourself! What’s up?

Here’s the deal (and I think this applies to most people):
Speaking to one or to a small group is real. You see them; they see you. You can tell if they’re listening, if they’re alive, awake, with you, against you, daydreaming, etc. You can read their body language. You can meet their eyes. You are real. You’re talking—not performing.

But when the room gets large, when the lights go down, when you are in a spotlight that says “perform,” the real you gets as shy as a nervous kitten. You loose your self-confidence. You imagine all manner of horrors. You are certain they’ll see through you and not be taken in by your façade. And you’d be right!

As long as the real you is hiding behind a façade, you cannot feel at home at the podium.
You must strip: not your clothes, but your mask. You may assume that your mask is protecting you, but in reality, it is obscuring your light. And your light is what must shine for others to be engaged when you speak. You must reveal yourself, share your private thoughts, expose your vulnerabilities, be honest with yourself and, thus, with your audience.

The greatest awareness I gained about myself is that I am not a performer: I am, though, a very good communicator. The difference is where I am shining the spotlight of my mind. When it is directed at me, I am ripe for self-consciousness; when it is directed at another, I am open to real communion. I stop asking, “how am I doing,” and move to, “Are you with me” I stop worrying about, “Will they like me,” and start considering, “What can I offer them.”

I now know from testing the waters with individual readers and with small groups, that the book I’ve written is transformational. It is meant to take your fear of public speaking and turn it into your forte. It is aimed at all speakers—in any setting—for whom authenticity and connection are paramount. Readers tell me it has changed forever the way they look at getting up in public. It has changed the way they speak to their spouses … the way they speak to their children. It has, indeed, changed their relationship with themselves.

I could not be more pleased. And I am glad to say that although I may still feel butterflies at the prospect of standing before a large group, I have taught those butterflies to fly in formation. I also figure that if Pavarotti was always nervous before every performance,
I can be too.

The difference now is that I do not see it as a performance; I see my role as
a sharer. I am in the spotlight to share my passion, my insights, and my pleasure. And when I share, I am engaged in an interchange . . . I am not there all alone. My listeners are up there with me; they just happen to be a few feet away. And I’ve learned to make friends with the spotlight. The spotlight is there to illuminate me until my own light can shine on its own.

Saskia Shakin
Author, More Than Words Can Say: The Making of Inspired Speakers
www.TheKeynoteCoach.com

Saskia is available for coaching and for book signing tours. Please contact her at: Saskia@TheKeynoteCoach.com

This is the third article from my friend Caitriona – living and teaching English on Jeju Island, South Korea. She and I exchange energy work each week via Skype. It has been an incredible experience.

She shares with me her life experiences and awareness. Some of them are so profound especially for a young women. It is amazing to see someone in her 20s embark on a journey that many wait until they are in their 40s, 50s or even 60s. These lessons will pave the way to break cycles within her own life and ones that she can carry forward into all of her relationships, including one day her own children.

The awareness is about letting go of fear and trusting and in her case it was around MONEY — something most adults and parents do not do so well with themselves.

MY LESSON:
The other day I was walking to the bus stop, excited to be heading home after work and by the sun shining brightly. As I was nearing the bus stop, my friend stopped on his motorbike, he offered me a ride but I denied the offer because I had no helmet. My high-spirited self at that moment was quickly transformed by what my friend proceeded to say. Three weeks after I had a bike accident – I ran into his bike — he showed me the damage and then asked me if I would spot him the money for the repairs. I immediately jumped back and asked him if this was right, and if indeed I was solely responsible for what happened? He reassured that yes, it was my doing and that he was sorry to break the news like this. I felt a knot in my stomach and was thrown off by this news so I walked away and asked him to call me later with the amount due.
The entire bus ride home my mind was consumed with angry and negative thoughts, I had just finished budgeting my money for the remainder of my time on this island and was annoyed by this surprise expense. The fear started pouring in and filling up every single cell in my body leaving it in a tired and stiff state, and my mind- scattered with fearful thoughts.
I arrived home and knew that I wanted to sit with the emotions that arose from this situation and the best way to do this was to walk down to the water and chill out.
On route to the water, in an angry state, I picked up the phone to call this friend, he informed of the cost and I jumped, just what I feared- too much.

I asked him if he was taking any responsibility for the accident and he replied no, but that he was intending to bring the cost down however possible.

When I put the phone down I noticed that a wise old dog had joined me on my walk, and did not leave my side for the entire time, very aware of this blessing I stopped and gave thanks. I tested my new dog friend to see if in fact he/she was here to stay by turning spontaneously down different paths and running off, he/she was not phased by these tests, he/she stayed. I couldn’t believe it, I felt myself becoming softer, more peaceful and smiled at the fact that he/she was with me. There was a bench right next to the water so I sat down and my friend lay down in the shade at the same time!
Aware of what was happening in my mind and body I decided to observe it and just let go, I made the decision to accept responsibility for the situation and then closed my eyes, leaned back into the bench with the sun shining in my face and breathed deeply. Moments later, my friend called and informed me that he managed to bring the cost down to a very minimal amount. I smiled and felt a huge release, then said thank you to the universe.
In conclusion, I know that by taking time out to just sit with whatever the situation was, accept responsibility and with the presence of my wise dog friend, all turned out well. I know that the moment I begin to hold on too tight to something, something spontaneous pops into my life to shake me up in order to let go. In this specific case, my lesson is about money. As I grow and restructure my beliefs and my relationship around money, these little lessons appear to keep me on the path of trust, flow and abundance.

Introduction to Financial Empowerment blog

Posted Friday, May 1st, 2009. Filed Under Financial Empowerment | 1 Comment

I have heard that people will rather talk about sex than their finances. This has led to some pretty funny conversations about the former and some very serious situations regarding the latter.

Women today make up a large portion of the workforce. Whether you are a woman who goes to work each day, works from home or stays home and works to raise your family, finance plays a large part in your life and you are a contributor to your family.

Problem
What I have found to be fairly consistent, with some exceptions, is that when it comes to financial matters, women including some of my girlfriends usually defer to their husband, significant other or financial planner. In fact, I just had a conversation with a close friend that reveals this very problem. Both she and her husband earn a comfortable income however she has no idea about the nuts and bolts of their finances. When I asked her why she says, “I trust him”. I told her that knowing the essentials of how much money you have and how it is handled has nothing to do with trust. It has to do with a responsibility of being aware of a critical aspect of your life and knowing where you stand financially especially if something were to happen to one or the other or both of you.

Why I believe women defer…
I feel that most women defer for a number of reasons: traditionally men have been the ones to make the decisions, women are acculturated away from and just don’t understand the terminology, the topic of finance and money scares them, and some women, the truth be told, just plain do not want to know about their finances. I want to empower women when it comes to finances to take accountability and responsibility and change this by taking baby steps!

The “seed” was planted over a year ago
The idea for this part of the blog has been sitting as a seed for over a year. When I began to speak to groups of women sharing my journey and talking about taking my accountability and responsibility for the choices in my life, I did so with the intention to empower and inspire women to take steps for changes in their own life. I invited my financial planner, Warren Blatt, to discuss “women’s relationship to finance and money”. After one of the talks, a woman approached Warren and asked if he would be interested in speaking to a women’s group that she will put together. She recognized that she was one of those women who defer to their husbands and she had no understanding of even the most basic terms and language. This group would comprise of women who wanted to “demystify finances and break it down to the most simplest of terms, covering what is vital and useful for everyday”. This woman shared a powerful story about a relative whose husband recently died and left her in a such financial mess, one that will take years to sort out.

The intention and purpose of the Finance Blog
This site is the extension of these explorations. After many conversations with other women I feel there is both the desire and need for a financial component to the website.

I recently read an article in the life section of the Globe and Mail talking about our lack of financial literacy both at the adult level and for our children. We need to break cycles and begin to teach our children some basic financial concepts: how to save and not live off credit, set strict budgets and follow them, and know the options available to us — RRSP, RESP, MUTUAL FUNDS, COMPOUND INTEREST to name a few.

I am working in collaboration with one woman in particular, Maritza Beltre , Partner, Chief Financial Officer at Balor Capital Management. She and I connected on manly levels as well as holding similar visions. Please see her bio below. We will offer two posts a month. In one of the posts we will feature a new blog post about a financial topic – sharing knowledge and awareness and often recommending a book and introducing different tools. The second blog post each month will answer your questions. We welcome all and every question. There is no question that is too basic.

You can post your questions or comments in the “Share your Thoughts” section.

We look forward to this journey. Please choose to take responsibility and accountability for your finances – know where you are at so that you can make sound decisions for you and your family.

Maritza Beltre’s Bio:
I was born in the countryside of the Dominican Republic, where I was raised by my grandparents in a big, wooden, blue house by the mountains, along with my brother, uncles and aunts; all together we were about 13 people in that seven-room house. My parents migrated to the United States when I was just three years old, leaving me in my grandparents’ care. How many of you recognize this from your own lives, watching your parents leave you behind while they searched for a better life in los Estados Unidos? My grandparents, who today are still my role models, taught me at a very young age the value of hard work and perseverance, the importance of family, and most importantly having integrity and values. I remember we prayed every night. At the time I did not know what prayer was but now I realize how valuable praying every night was to my family and to me. This was the foundation that I have always walked with; it has opened many windows of opportunity for me.

From my early girlhood in the countryside of Dominican Republic, then my coming to New York City, working in a bodega “grocery store”, working in a factory, and eventually creating a restaurant from scratch called Much Gusto Spanish Cuisine Inc., to becoming a partner and chief financial officer of a commodity hedge firm on Wall Street. A hedge firm is a private, largely unregulated pool of capital whose managers can buy or sell any assets, bet on falling as well as rising assets, and participate substantially in profits from money invested. As you may know Hedge firms are a power trading vehicle on Wall Street and our clients are very wealthy and powerful themselves. I have well over 16 years experience in the hedge fund industry. This achievement reflects my history of risk taking with imagination and academic expertise.

My pride and joy is to empower and inspire others to achieve their dreams which is my next journey in life becoming an empowering speaker to support others willing to do whatever it takes to accomplish their vision in life. With this blog I intend to empower others in the financial area to overcome their fears about money and empower others to achieve their, “American Dream”.