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I am in Florida with my two boys and we are visiting my parents for 10 days. When this first came up and the tickets were bought I spent a lot of time dreading this trip and wondering how it would turn out. Right then and there I needed to stop myself from the “would haves”. As the date of departure came closer I made a decision that I was going to let all expectations go and just go down and enjoy myself with my boys, with my parents and all of us together.

We are nearing the end of this trip and I have to say that this past 10 days have been great. I went with the flow, allowed my boys to just hang and we did a lot of fun things. I enjoyed the time I spent with my boys and parents. And I know that they enjoyed having us. Now please do not get me wrong … I made sure that my mom was able to do her thing and my dad needed to work a couple of days. This didn’t stop us from doing what we wanted to do. We had our own car to come and go as we pleased. My father took my older son to a hockey game (the Maple Leafs lost!!) and a baseball game and that was great for the two of them to bond. My younger son bonded with my parents in his own way. They got to experience my boys for 10 days and I really believe that it is an experience that will sit with them a long time — especially the non-stop talking that my boys did. I think sometimes they gave my dad a headache but he didn’t yell or complain.

As for me, it was really nice to spend time with my parents. I know who they are and this allowed me to accept situations for what they were. They were very generous as always and took care of us. For this I am grateful especially since I went down with a budget in mind. The fact that the dishwasher was broken didn’t bother me, it gave me time to spend with my mother. One of the best moments was learning to bake one of my mother’s specialities .. ragalech. I called my boyfriend and best friend to tell them of how well I did. For this baking “class” we were joined by my mother’s cousin who I really like and that was a lot of fun. I learned from both of these women … they are both incredible bakers.

I hope that this trip shifts the energy around our relationship. In the last years there have been some tough moments. That was an old story. The new story is much different. I know my parents love me and my children and are really happy that I have met someone so special. I look forward to our time together when we return home. Yes, somethings will go back to “normal” however it is my choice how I see this relationship from today, forward.

For those that struggle with acceptance and letting go, take a moment and ask yourself if you have ulterior motives or are you expecting a certain outcome from a situation or person? If so, please let them go. You can visualize an upcoming event or evening with a certain person and see yourself enjoying your time together. Be in the moment. Be honest and in truth. Learn to accept people for who they are. Sometimes people do not know better and you can show them.

I want to wish everyone a wonderful weekend.

All my love,

Sandra

Tags: accepting people for who they are, accetance, being in gratitude, letting go of expectations

I was flying down south with my kids for March break and I found this article in the Oprah magazine I wanted to share. It is called, “YOU…IN SIX WORDS”. This article written by Diane Hearst is really a story of a writer and editor named Larry Smith who in November 2006, issued a challenge to fans of his web publication, SMITH Magazine. He was inspired by Ernest Hemingway’s legendary shortest of short stories. Smith asked his readers to describe their lives in six words. The Six-Word Memoir contest officially ended after a month, but the stories kept coming. Five years on, participants have contributed more than half a million mini-memoirs.

I want to share what people have written and then I encourage you to write your own and post them on smithmag.net

I am more than a twin. Diane Campbell, 56. “As kids my identical twin and I were addressed by one name – tryke – kind of a combination of twin and tyke. Even our dad could not tell us apart”.

Surfing life’s ripples, wishing for waves. Karen Barbier, 49. “I find myself constantly searching for more excitement both in and out of the water. In the past year, I’ve run a half marathon and gone skydiving twice. I have so much more that I want to do”.

I have time to fix this. Tameika Head, 26. “I’m working as a low-level clerk in the federal government even though I have a biology degree. Every morning I wake up thinking I wasted four years of my life in college. One day, though, I’ll put myself on the right path and become the forensic scientist I’ve always wanted to be”.

I could go on and on. I want to share my six words:

I am truth, connected and one. Sandra Finkelstein, 44. “These words come from my journey to re-discover me, who I am. I have come to a place where I listen to my heart and this is my truth. I have re-connected with myself and who I am and my greatness and thus have re-connected with others. Finally, through my “truth and re-connection” process I have come to ‘remember’ one fundamental thing – we are all connected, all one. It is by coming together, collectively, that we will make a difference in this world, OUR world. It is up to us.

I just saw the movie, “The Lorax” by Dr. Seuss and it was incredible. I love the message — it is never too late to make a difference in our world; to change our ways, thinking and belief systems. Even with all of the damage that we have done to our world in the name of profit, consumerism and being self-serving, with a little shift we can make a major shift in our outcome. It is a choice like everything. As in the movie, even the nay-sayers came around and were willing to make a better world for ourselves and their children; their legacy.

This weekend I want you to sit down and think of your six words. You may have no idea where to start. I suggest you make a list of all the words that you align with and narrow down from there. Another option is to pay attention to words that stick out or pop up as you are driving or walking. You will know which 6 words mean something to you. You may have more than one grouping of 6 words. The only other thing that I will recommend is to keep it positive. You can write the same thing two ways – one in the positive and one in the negative. It’s your choice. Words are powerful and have meaning.

Have a great weekend. For those enjoying March break, have a great week!

All my love,

Sandra

Tags: ernest heminway and short stories, Larry smith, six-word contest, SMITH magazine

I have written about this before, rather from the “never say never” end of it, but with all the things going on in my life and that of those around me I want to ask that you stay open to ALL possibilities. When we ask for something, material, emotional or spiritual, we do not know how it will present itself in our lives. There are times when a situation will arise with an outcome that you did not or even possibly consider.

For me lately things have been happening and changing so rapidly. Actually this is true for a lot of my friends as well. Although I have improved in the area of patience, it is something that comes up again and again. Patience is that space that allows the universe to bring forward in the most benevolent way, what is meant to transpire — not just for me but for everyone.

I just returned my leased mini-van and it has been an interesting emotional experience. I have been driving mini vans for the last 10 years. When I was in my 20s I told my friends, “I will never drive a mini van”. Well, that was a decade ago+. I did enjoy the mini van however now I am ready to move to something else. I am looking for a short term lease with a certain budget on Leasebusters and so far nothing has transpired. I ask the universe to please provide me with a car. So today, as I wait to find the lease for me I am driving my boyfriend’s daughters car that he bought from his mother, a 1990 Honda Accord. This is such a change for me. Again I am not patient and I want the car I want now but the universe has another lesson for me. I feel that there are certain questions that I need to answer: Do I really need such a big car? Am I defined by a car? I will admit once again I was looking only at certain types of SUVs: Acura, Lexus, and Toyotas. I ruled out cars because they are too small. With no luck I have broadened my search and have included cars. Driving this 1990 car has allowed me to adjust to driving a lower vehicle and one that is smaller. I know in time I will get the car I want.

Lately I have seen old friends re-emerge in my life. In my wildest dreams I would never have thought that these people will come back into my life. I am happy and now I get to decide how I bring them in, to what level and if its just through correspondence or I make plans with them. I have also come to realize that they exited my life for a reason and now they are coming back for a reason. One of the friendships is interesting because I pushed away this friend because he was too nice and I couldn’t handle all of the attention. He has since married and has 3 children. I am so happy for him. What I did learn is that he left my life because of me, not him. Now that I am with the person I will spend the rest of my life I understand more of who he is and subsequently, more about where I am at.

There are also those that are departing from your life because that friendship has served its purpose for now. It’s sometimes hard to imagine that your best friend today is no longer. All I can say, is that people grow and change and maybe one day that person may resurface in your life. Be open to seeing if the person has changed. Maybe, the person who needed to change is you.

What I ask is that you embrace this weekend and stay open to all the possibilities. Ask for what you want and then let it go and know that it will come in the most benevolent way it is meant to.

All my love,

Sandra

Tags: being positive, how to manifest what you want, staying open to possibilities, why do things happen? I

I live in York Region and the school board in this region is proposing a change to the education system in the name of “equity”. The proposed changes to Board Procedure 316 would eliminate the concept of “School Focus” from the educational delivery model. This means that (with the exception of French Immersion, special needs programs and gifted programs) no elementary school in York Region may distinguish itself from any other with a specialized focus on the arts or other cross-disciplinary approach. This, all in the name of equity – however some would say that homogeneity is not the same as equity.

As concerned parents and citizens we have been asked if we support or disagree with this proposed change.

Before I comment I want to present the two issues/concerns that have driven this proposed change:
1) Speciality schools cannot accommodate all students, even those who would benefit. This creates inequity.

2) Having speciality schools – whatever their speciality – can create the danger of letting the rest of the schools ‘off the hook’ from providing wide and rich range of programs and educational methods.

Here is my answer. I do not agree with the proposed change. To me, if this is passed, it is another demonstration of the failure of our education system. This proposed change not only affects our children today but our future children and their possibilities. We have swung the pendulum so far that we have forgotten the true intent of education. Education is to provide ALL our children with the necessary life skills and tools that they can go out into this world and not only survive but make a difference. In the name of equity we have removed most levels of creativity, we have labels for everything and every ‘type’ of child, and we are solely focused on our core subjects of English, Math, and Science. We have created and fostered a system that does not promote nor allow for differences or creativity and thinking outside the box. It assumes we all fit into a square box … I know this because I have a son that does not fit into the square box .. he is more like a triangle being forced to fit into a system that does not cater to him.

We are not homogenous, we are unique individuals with our unique DNA and thumbprint. To me it is inequality to try and fit everyone into a “square”. Some children thrive in the ‘regular’ school system and then there are others who do not. By eliminating the option to be able to learn in the best format for them is inequality. These children will be forced to work in a system that they do not resonate with nor fit in. This can lead to feelings of isolation, being bullied for being different, low self-esteem which in turn can drive our children to depression, cutting, drugs, promescuity, and yes, even suicide. While this sounds dramatic and extreme then you do not understand the impact of taking away the feeling of being safe in an environment that understands you; that allows you to be you.

Those oppose talk about the fact that it cannot accommodate all the students that will benefit. Rather than creating a solution to this “problem”, the suggestion is extreme – close the doors – if everyone cannot benefit than no one should benefit. Is this what we want to teach our children? One of the life skills that our children need to learn is how to cope with disappointment. It is true, as the school exists not everyone will get in. Unfortunately that is life. When our children get into the real world they will find that the job that they really want — so do a 1000 other people however only one person will be selected. My answer to my children is if you really want something and you do not succeed the first time, learn from this and make the changes so that you will succeed the next time. And if you fail again, learn and make the necessary tweaks. This is a lesson worth teaching and understanding.

As for the solution.. why would we eliminate something that has a definite need in our society. In proposed Bill 316 you state:
“Each elementary community school shall provide, for all its students, a positive climate for learning and programming required by the Ontario Curriculum, that enables the development of the knowledge, skills and attitudes necessary for living, learning and working in the 21st Century.”

It is time to get into the 21st Century and understand the needs and wants of our children. Why is it that TDSB can see this and respond to ALL children’s needs be providing the necessary programs such as 19 Alternative Schools, 5 International Baccalaureate Schools, 6 Specialized Arts Schools, and 2 High Performance Athlete Schools? York region is one of the fastest growing regions with a population of one of the most culturally diverse backgrounds. Yet, we presume that we are all the same with the same needs. THIS IS INEQUALITY.

We need to consider FOCUS SCHOOLS that can exist on their own accord. One may not be enough, perhaps we need more. Is there money for this? With the amount of financial waste that exists provincially and federally it is a matter of budgeting for this. If we can spend a million dollars on replicating the Muskoka Lake during the G20 and spend a total of $1 billion dollars on the G20 itself, which was a waste of time and money, then we can find money where it really matters — our children and the future leaders of this country.

As for the second arguement that “having speciality schools – whatever their speciality – can create the danger of letting the rest of the schools ‘off the hook’ from providing wide and rich range of programs and educational methods” is weak and childish at best. Why would one negate the other? I send my children to the regular school and I want to see more creativity brought back into the schools: expand our music program, drama, arts, and whatever else our children desire and want.

If our education system wants to assist ALL children than it needs to respond to and reflect the needs of ALL children. I say NO to Bill 316.

——-

I am so disappointed in our systems. The book I am nearly done will plant the seeds in our children to challenge and change our systems to reflect the needs of today and our future. We need to get our heads out of the past and be in the present. Is it scary yes, but necessary.

I want to wish everyone a wonderful weekend.

All my love,

Sandra

Tags: bill 316, Education, joel hertz, school boards and how to make a change

Tonight on the Oprah network, Oprah paid tribute to Whitney Houston. She showed a fairly recent interview between her and Whitney Houston. It was wonderful and portrayed Whitney in a vulnerable, yet beautifully aware light. Oprah asked her some very tough questions and Whitney answered them all. She spoke eloquently and in truth.

I didn’t realize that Whitney was such good friends with Michael Jackson. At one point Oprah showed a clip of Whitney and Michael performing. This was a time in their lives that both of them were on drugs and not doing very well. Whitney commented how at that time she looked at Michael and said she was worried about him. She also commented that he was a mirror to her and that she too was not doing very well. Her world was crumbling. She needed to make a change. I am not sure at that time she did.

Oprah often referred to Whitney as “The Voice”; that she was given a gift that “belonged” to all. Whitney became an icon after her album, The Bodyguard, shot her to stardom beyond her belief. Whitney’s truth is that she just wanted to be a wife, mother, daughter, sister … put on her jeans and t-shirt. She took her wedding vows very seriously and she was willing to fight for her marriage. In this process she lost herself – she was the pleaser!

Her mother was her rock and her guide in her life. She is the reason that Whitney finally left her marriage and took her daughter to California. She obviously struggled with many things until her death. SHe struggled to love and honour herself and chose drugs as her way to bury pain and avoid truth. She told Oprah that she knew she was unhappy however she wouldn’t speak her truth to anyone, including her mother.

Some people may feel that Whitney had everything – money, fame, a strong maternal family … but really she was a pleaser who lost her voice and truth. Whitney is human, like you and me, she just wanted to love and be loved. Really, the first person she needed to love and honour was herself. She did talk about her unwavering belief in G-d and his love for her. This is one of the things that helped get her through the dark times in her life.

I hope that people learn from this and that the illusion that we hold of these stars is just that an illusion. They suffer, they have pain, they have joy and they have laughter. We all have a gift. Whitney had a gift that brought her much joy and much pain. We must be careful to not take our gift too seriously — if we do we can lose ourselves in it. I can speak about my book writing. I love to write however when I got caught up in finishing the book and what is going to happen after, I lost my purpose and joy. I have since stepped back and come back to writing and I am loving it. THe book is flowing and I want to have it done by March break.

Love your gift, but always stay true to yourself. Do not look at the world of Hollywood or Sports stars, for many times what you see is not really WHO they are; it is the image that either we have created for them or they have created for themselves. Dust to Dust …. we all come from the same place and end in the same place.

If you had a passion or love and put it aside or lost interest, revisit it and ask yourself what you loved about it? Why did you put it aside? If you return to your passion and decide, “Yes I miss this and it feels good/right” then please consider bringing it back into your life in the way that is right for you. If you return to your passion and feel, “No, this is not what I want or this doesn’t feel right” then just thank it for being in your life and let it go!

I want to wish you a wonderful weekend.

All my love,

Sandra

Tags: Harpo studios, Oprah Winfrey, OWN, tribute to Whitney Houston, whitney houston

I just watched the movie, Pay it Forward, with Kevin Spacey and Helen Hunt. I cannot remember who played the little boy, Trevor, however he was amazing. I loved the movie as much the second time as I did the first. I remember thinking what a great concept let’s do it.

The concept is that you do something for someone that impacts their life, from an genuine and altruistic place of heart and loving, with no desire for return, and the only requirement is that they have to agree to pay the concept of the good deed forward to three other people. What you are creating is a multi-level “good deed, pay it forward” model.

I believe that at the time of the movie being released, people loved the concept but likely did not make it happen. Therefore, if you were already this way, then you did these types of good deeds, and if you were not, then not. Why? I believe the world was too much in a place of greed and manipulation. We have been more concerned with the ME than the WE.

Today, I believe this is changing. I truly believe that people are “waking up” and realizing that we are all connected in some way, shape or form and that one act can make a difference. We need to break a cycle that has been created and fostered over the last 20-30 years – the ME factor. We have seen the result of this and it is not good for anyone, any country and the world as a whole.

We are not at the collective level yet (we are getting there) so it really is up to each individual to live this way. Then as more and more people choose to live this way – doing good deeds for people — the larger impact will be felt. You can start right now! Make the choice when given the opportunity to do something that impacts someone, whether you know them or not. You do not know how an act of kindness will impact their life. Even a smile can change someone’s day, especially if they are feeling low. I choose to live this way.

The key to giving is to do so with no expectation for return.

This weekend, do a good deed, something that takes you out of your comfort zone and feel good doing it.

I want to wish everyone a wonderful weekend.

All my love,

Sandra

Tags: being kind and giving back, doing good deeds, helen hunt, kevin spacey, movie Pay it Forward

I have spent the last decade and primarily the last 6 years going within to look at who I am. I have looked at my core beliefs, my behaviour patterns, my habits and so on to see which part of these I like and want to keep versus those that are not me and have been handed down from generation to generation; a cycle. I know that the more I am true to me, the more I will live my life to the fullest and in peace and calm.

It meant taking a hard look in the mirror and seeing what parts of me I like and which parts I do not. I have gladly handed back those parts that do not belong to me. This took courage and awareness. Not everyone is aware.

So what happens when you are not aware or avoid those “bad” patterns in your life? Do we just forget and bury those incidents from our past and never see them again? Where do these memories sit?

I have a dear friend who lost her father recently and we were talking and she said to me that the stuff from her past hasn’t really affected her. I didn’t say anything however I found that comment interesting since I see that she is an avoider and doesn’t want to see some of her relationships for what they are. In the last year she has had neck and back problems, she had an issue with her eyes.

When we choose to avoid dealing with patterns in our life a couple of things happen. First, we create this great story for ourselves that we live by. I know because I was one of those people. What is your story you tell yourself? For me it was that I wasn’t supported by my parents, they give all of their attention to my younger brother, people compared me to my twin brother – I was the pretty one and he is the smart one. STORIES. There is no truth to our stories unless we give them credence. I have since changed my story … not only am I beautiful – inside and out – I am smart and giving and caring and my work is making a difference in the life of the young people.

Second, where do all of these memories (good or bad) sit? In our bodies. And yes, our bodies are always talking to us. But mostly we do not know nor understand that the “pain” you are feeling comes from something that happened before, sometimes years and decades. I did an energy session on a woman in her 30s yesterday and we did somebody energy work. She complained about her lower abdomen — it was hot and uncomfortable. So we went “into” her body part and began to explore. What came out was that she was holding a very traumatic experience that happened to her when she was 14 years old. This is where is settled. Not only did she hold the memory but the “side effect” is this incident shaped her future choices and decisions – or might I say lack of. While I was doing the work on her I felt a heaviness in my chest – like I could not breathe and my legs were stuck to the ground. Whatever she experienced was holding her back from moving forward. What I love about body energy work is that she discovered the incident, she embraced the emotions of what she felt at the time and then was able to let them go. We continued with energy healing to bring a feeling of safety. How this presented itself now is that every time she felt like she was in this dark and fearful place, she shut down and could not move forward. So she did not speak her truth and move forward in certain areas of her life. By creating that space of trust she can now move through the dark events and know that there is light at the end of the tunnel. As we did this my legs became less heavy – at first I felt stuck like I could not move however over time, this became less until my legs moved freely and I could breathe much easier.

It was an extraordinary experience for her. Over time she forgot about the scary incident when she was 14 however she stored it in her body and subconscious mind and this feeling has been driving her since. By embracing and releasing she is no longer bound to this and can change her response and outcome.

I watched an interesting movie called The Tree Of Life, with Brad Pitt and it was existential and questioned our relationship to G-d. The movie was set in the late 1950s I believe and you see how the harsh treatment of the father (played by Brad Pitt) on a young boy affects him as he grows and becomes an adult. He is struggling from within and without. Our Stuff! He also lost his younger brother, whom he was very close to. You could visually feel and see the conflict the boy and later man felt.

Do not think or believe for a second that our past does not have an impact on our lives, for it does. The question becomes, how are you going to let this impact your life, your choices and your outcome? That is up to you. Figure out your story or stories. What part of them is true, not true, belong to you, belong to someone else?

We can look at our past as a gift that can give us the awareness and perspective of what we want versus what we do not want. Keep what feels right and makes sense and let the rest go. I know it is not that easy. Perhaps you will need to seek a professional. Whomever you choose, know you are whole and there is nothing wrong with you. Hopefully this person will help you peel away the layers to your truth, who you are and then you can live your life to the fullest and as you choose.

Have a wonderful weekend!

All my love,

Sandra

Tags: Brad PItt, movie Tree of LIfe, where is God? Does God exist? How our parents shape our future, who are we?

It seems like a lot of people’s relatives around me have been dying: brother, father, uncle. Two were Jewish and one Italian, Catholic. For the Jewish people we have the shiva, which lasts 7 days and it is a time for the family to be surrounded and supported by loved ones and people who want to pay respect to the deceased. What I like about this process is that it is more for the living than the dead for it is the living that are “suffering”. As for the Catholic viewing, the one I attended last night was full of light and laughter and the my friend’s uncle who passed away looked so peaceful. It is as though they were celebrating his life, not mourning it!

I had a brief conversation about death yesterday prior to the shiva and viewing and we talked about how really death is a process that begins the day you are born. Despite knowing this many people fear death. I don’t want to die right now for I feel my work is just beginning in this world, however I also know that whatever will be will be. So knowing that we will all eventually die, it behoves me and yes I use that word, I shocks me how many people do not live their life to the fullest. When the day comes for us to die you will be ready for you will understand this process on a physical, mental and spiritual level. It is my belief that the soul lives on forever and it is only our body, the physical vessel we live in, that dies — from dust to dust.

So knowing this, why do we not embrace every day as a gift? The greatest gift we can give ourselves is to live in the present and embrace each day with the fullest amount of unconditional love and joy. The PRESENT. I just watched an interview which I posted on my daily dose, of an interview with Anthony Robbins and 108 year old Alice Herz Sommer, a survivor of the nazi concentration camps. This interview is remarkable as this woman shares her secret of longevity. She looks at the positive, even when there is “bad”, she loves life, and is so happy and positive. That does not mean that she has not experienced sadness, or disappointment, or frustration, or anger … I am sure that she has, however she does not let it rule her life. Interestingly she had a twin sister who was quite the opposite of her – a pessimist. I call them the yin and yang.

There is a lot going on in the world. We have a choice how we respond to the events – what is going on in Europe with the financial crisis in Greece, Italy, Spain, Portugal and Ireland, in the Middle East and the desire to bring down dictators that have been greedy and ruthless, in the US and their presidential debates, and so on.

The only thing that you can control is YOU and your choices in life. If you let the events of the world impact you to a point of negativity, anger, frustration, you will be allowing this type of energy to rule your life. I ask that you do not. Choose to live your life as though every day is a present. You can create the peace and joy in your life by being this way, walking your talk – smile at a stranger, open the door and hold it for someone that is struggling, say thank you when someone gives you a compliment or does something generous and nice for you.

I choose to live life each day as it comes in the present. This is not the easiest for I am a planner and in my “past days” a control freak. I have LEARNED that by letting go, trusting and being in my truth brings every thing that I need. That does not mean that I sit around and “wish” NO I am doing as well. I am writing a resource and tool book for the youth – the next leaders of our world. I am speaking to different people to guide me in this process. What I am not doing is setting out a plan so tight that there is no room for possibilities and for it to unfold as it is meant to.

Take these words, ponder them, see what resonates and then make it your own — do what feels right in your heart for you. There is no judgement for whatever you choose.

Have a wonderful weekend!

All of my love,

Sandra

Tags: anthony robbins, being positive versus negative, dealing with death, death versus life, how to embrace death, interview with Anthony Robbin, interview with Anthony Robbins and Alice Herz Somemrs, life as a present

This incident has caused much conversation amongst my friends. Yesterday while I was having lunch with my financial planner we came to this topic. He agreed that it was unacceptable for the captain to jump ship but he said the crew was another story. He felt that the crew gets paid so little in salary that if they had to choose between their life and a passenger they would choose their own life — and jump ship.

I disagreed. He then put it this way and said, “You are a mother of two boys, are you going to risk your life for that of someone else and potentially die and leave your kids motherless”? Of course this is a tough question and really unless you are in that predicament you do not know what you would do.

What I will say is that because we live in a world that lacks accountability and responsibility, we come across incidents like this too often. I did tell my financial planner that when you are hired for certain positions – flight crew, boat crew, fire fighters, police, surgeon, nurses and so on you know what you are signing up for. I have NEVER heard of any flight crew that “jumped ship” when their plane was in trouble/went down. These people are trained for this and this is one of the risks of flying. Same with a boat… all is good when the boat is sailing and the weather is good however if something were to happen these people need to be trained to deal with emergencies.

The amount of chaos the ensued was horrific. People did not know what to do, the captain was non-existent and no one carried forward a system to get these people, their patrons and staff, to safety. Again, we must learn from tragedy — The company that owns this ocean liner, Carnival, needs to take responsibility as well. It is up to them to make sure that their staff, from the captain down to the towel person, needs to be trained sufficiently so that IF there is an emergency, in which there was one, these people know what to do .. and do it calmly and in good order. They need to review their hiring practices. As well, the captain of the ship must under no circumstances be allowed to jump ship otherwise he/she will will be tried in a court of law for whatever crime happens – manslaughter, 2nd degree, etc.

The newest article today states an excuse from the captain that he fell from the boat when it tipped. No excuses. The entire incident was caused because of his EGO when he chose to go to close to shore and “show off”. He fell, SO, get back on that boat and take care of your people – guests and crew. I say this man needs to be held accountable and responsible. As well, the parent company, Carnival needs to revisit its hiring policies as well as its safety procedures.

There is another topic that arose that did catch my eye and my planner brought up. He said he found it interesting that the coast guard asked how many women and children were still on board that needed assistance. He asked me in this day and age is that appropriate? It is another tough topic. The issue is really that the traditional family does not exist anymore. You can be a lesbian or gay couple with children; you can be a single parent who adopted, and the list goes on. I do think that children, under no circumstances, must be considered amongst the first, along with disabled people and even older people. As for women being before men, I really don’t know how to answer that. If I was on that ship there is no way in hell that I would leave my children’s side. If I was on the ship with a friend or my boyfriend and we can help out as long as we were “safe” then I think I likely would help out as long as permitted.

There is no right or wrong — only opinions. Whether you agree or disagree, I do want to say that there is one person who must be held accountable for his choice to go to close to shore, jumping ship and abandoning his crew and guests, causing more chaos than was needed, and causing death — THE CAPTAIN.

We must demand more responsibility and accountability but like all things it begins with YOU, the individual. Children do what you do not what you say.

Have a wonderful weekend everyone.. Lead by example.

All my love,

Sandra

Tags: accountability, captain of costa concordia, carnival cruise lines, jumping ship, leading by example, responsibility

I rented the movie, The Help, this past weekend and loved it. What I loved most about it was the message of courage … from the black African-American women who took their lives in their hands when they shared stories of what it was like to work for a white family and raise their children. Second, the courage of the Skeeter Phelan who chronicled the stories of these women. Much risk was taken on both sides. This took place just prior/beginning of the Civil Rights Movement.

It was all about courage… to speak up and speak out! This was extreme because these African-American women could have been killed or jailed and Skeeter, a white sympathizer, could have been ostracized and yes killed by white supremacist. This did not stop the women because it was about something more than them … their children. These women knew that if they were going to create a better world for their children they needed to challenge the system in place.

This message is just wanted I needed to hear just prior to finishing my book. Writing a book is time-consuming and you do not see the results right away. And then there is the wonder .. will this impact the people you want or will I offend anyone? My truth is, it doesn’t matter. I am taking the courage to write the book that I believe holds much wisdom (not only mine.. many others as well) and will reach the people it is meant to. As for offending some, I am willing to take the chance for I believe that many of our systems need change and I am encouraging the youth to do so.

So, if I have to choose a life of playing it safe or taking risk and being courageous, I choose the latter.

I ask you to do the same. It does not mean you have to write a book .. start small. Choose to do something that excites you and challenges you. This is the advice I got from Bob Proctor, motivational speaker and author. I really like this advice. It may mean calling your mother/father/daughter/son to say “hi and I love you”. It may mean offering to take your niece or nephew out for a few hours and be alone with him or her even though you have no children of your own and don’t really know what you are doing. That’s ok. The only way to learn something is to practice. So get going.

Courage … is a choice!

I want to wish everyone a wonderful weekend.

All my love,

Sandra

Tags: civil rights movement, courageous, how to be courage, movie The Help

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