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HELICOPTER PARENT
I am not sure if you have heard of the term “helicopter parent” or not however this is a term that is being used more often today.  It’s a parent who “hovers” over their child/children to the point, I believe enabling and disabling them.

As parents we want to protect you, our child/children, to make sure that nothing happens to you. We want you to be safe. What we fail to recognize is that a child needs that time to explore, to falldown, to get up, to fail, and to succeed, in order to learn. Of course I will not let my 7 year old roam the streets however I am allowing him to walk home from school with his older brother, who is nearly 10 years old. It is only about  20 homes in from the school. I do sort of walk up to meet them however I want them to feel a sense of independence as well as repsonsibility.

The other key point to note is that our children have their own learning and journey and will follow their own path. We have NO CONTROL over this. If we deny you, our child/children, the right to learn then your lessons will come later in life.

I am happy that my children are going through stuff now as this learning will only make them stronger when they get to their teenage years (I know, or so I think!!).

A MOTHER ALLOWS HER SOME TO TAKE THE SUBWAY IN NEW YORK CITY BY HIMSELF AT AGE 9… SHE HAS BEEN DECLARED “AMERICA’S WORST MOM”.

TAKE A LOOK… This woman, Author, Lenore Skenazy, has a website you may want to check out: www.freerangekids.wordpress.com.

Also, you may want to suggest to your parents to read her book, Free-Range Kida: Giving our Children the Freedom We Had Without Going Nuts With Worry. As I have not read this book I am only suggesting it as a read. You may agree or disagree with what she has to say. However, it opens up different avenues to consider and see how it fits in your life and with your family.

All my best,

Sandra

DECIDING WHO IS MY FRIEND?
Starting school can be daunting, scary and all that depending if you are going to a new school, changing from junior school to the high school or remembering that last year was not such a great year.

We just moved and my boys are attending a new school. While change can be exciting, I realize that it can be accompanied with fear and anxiety.  In order for me to reduce this for my boys I have given them some tools to empower and assist them during the beginning few days. This advice was given to me by a woman I respect and she also is a social worker.

SUGGESTED TOOLS TO MAKING FRIENDS
Imagine you arrive at school before the bell rings and you see some kids that you know. Take a look and see what they are doing. Does this interest you?  If so, walk over and just observe to see what is going on: is it a one-on-one game or is there a whole bunch of  people involved. When you feel comfortable ask if you can join the game or maybe you want to wait and throw the ball to a person playing – this often invites an invitation.

Perhaps you can bring something to school that you like and another person will find what you are doing interesting and ask to join.

Joining clubs and groups of interest is always helpful for you will share similar interests with someone.

DISCERNING…
This has come up for me a lot during the last two weeks both for myself and for my older son.  There are some boys that he knows that I asked him to really think about – does he like how they make him feel when he is with them?  This is a life long lesson that if you can learn and be aware of when you are young will serve you well over your life.

Discerning and figuring out who is your true friend, and yes things change and a friend today may no longer be in your life 10 years from now, however being able to make that distinction in the present moment is important.

This really comes down to loving and honouring yourself and learning to speak your truth and set boundaries of how you are treated.  When you are empowered and love yourself, you honour how you want to be treated.  A true friend will talk to you with respect, will bring you up and will support you through your good and bad times.  A true friend “has your back” and you can count of them.  You treat one another with mutual respect and can share ‘secrets’ with them.  If there is an issue between good friends then the issue can be raised and dealt with in a mature manner.

I have shared this with my son for I have a lot of very good friends. I feel that he is going through this right now — who is my friend? and that once he understands and is truly aware of his own power and truth that the rest will fall into place. He will decide if the boy he has been playing with is a friend or not. In turn, he will treat this person well. If this does not happen he will quickly learn the other side – people will not want to be with him.

In some ways, each of us have gone through this. The ones that learned their lessons quickly moved through this issue while others, even adults, are still facing this issue.

This is some food for thought.

Enjoy,

Sandra

http://www.oprah.com/dated/oprahshow/oprahshow-20090429-talented-kids-finale

Wow, I watched this last night on the Oprah show. It is amazing to see the talent from children all over the world.

I really enjoyed watching Charice, the young Pilipino woman, who a year ago was discovered by Oprah on You Tube singing. On this show she sings her first release – NOT SOMEONE ELSES RATHER HER OWN.

Follow your heart and your dreams and never give up.

Enjoy,

Sandra

THE INVITATION READ… My older son was invited to a birthday party via email from ECHOAGE, www.ECHOage.com. This 10 year old girl chose an ECHOage party and what that meant is that rather than receiving gifts she asked her party guests to donate whatever amount of money they chose and this money was pooled and given to a “cause” or charity of her choice.

This meaningful act allowed her to receive from her friends and then turn around and give back to a cause that she believed in.

I feel this is an excellent way to teach our children.

I CANNOT SAY MY YOUNGER ONE WILL BE INTO THIS YET. He just celebrated his birthday and it was a small gathering of family. This meant a smaller number of presents for him and this concerned him.  I am working on this.

I CAN ONLY LEAD BY EXAMPLE… Well as I said, I can only lead by example. This September, I will be giving the children allowance however this will be split three ways – one portion for them, one portion to go into savings – their bank, and the third to be collected and pooled and then given to a “cause” of their choice – feed the children, education, etc. Perhaps they will buy and donate computer stuff. I am not sure however I want the money to be used for a purpose – to empower other children so they too can have the ability to be all they can be.

I hope the feeling my children get from this is wonderful.

CHOOSE: www.echoage.com – for your next party.

All my best,

Sandra

GREAT CONVERSATION… I meet with a group of Women to discuss the book, Tao Te Ching —  This is a very enlightened book, reminding us how simple life is — a way of being.

Many discussions come up and the other day a discussion came up that this woman’s daugther said to her that she doesn’t seem so up set for her to go off to university.  In fact, all the other mothers are really upset.

I know this woman. She lives her life authentically and with purpose.  She knows that we do not own our children and as much as we want to protect our children she understands that this is not so; that our children have their own path to go on.

ASK YOUR DAUGTHER… I said that this woman needs to ask her daughter if she prefers the mother that trusts and loves her daughter unconditionally and is empowering and encouraging her to go off and “spread her wings”.  She is always there for her however she does not want to impose her views and thoughts.

OR she can have a mother who is overbearing, feels she must protect her child at all cost, is a worrier, neurotic and controlling?

If I were this woman’s daughter I will go up to my mom and say “thanks for loving me unconditionally and trusting in me and my decisions. I love you!”

The path is yours to create …. enjoy and know you are being guided and loved.

All my best,

Sandra

NO MORE PROCRASTINATING… I am still working with this young woman empowering her in her PR work as an intern for 2bempowered as well as having Tom Martin of Tom Martin Media guide her and her work. With over 20 years experience in the communication and PR work, Tom is a valuable resource for this woman.

I have pushed her in some ways for this is her first real experience in the PR “field”. I asked her to draft a press release and while she sat on it for a bit she tackled it and finally wrote her first ever draft. She did tell me that she revised it a few times and then sent it to Tom for his comments.

I am so proud to say that Tom not only liked it, he said for her first piece ever written he marks it a “7 out of 10″. Wow this is great.

Fear can stop us from learning and moving forward – call it procrastination or something else — it is all an illusion.  There is nothing to fear for to learn you must “fall down like the baby learning to walk” and you will realize that it is not so difficult and the next time you tackle your desire — we, the adults and guides in your life, are here to gently tell you YOU CAN DO IT.

All my love,

Sandra

I “met” Tess Cacciatore over a year ago and we talked about working with youth and making a difference. Her organization, World Trust Foundation is doing just that. I am still commited however I know that I need to start in Canada and even more local, Toronto.  We will bring our efforts together one day however for now please be aware of her tremendous work.

NOTE FROM TESS:
Today, we have a group of youth who are right now on a plane from Los Angeles to Ghana to attend our Young Leaders Summit. I will be joining them on Monday for a 5 day excursion that will change many lives forever.

I’m working with an extraordinary team to support the Young Leaders Network, who are dedicated to taking these youth and mentoring them for a better future.

In partnership with local US based organizations (Operation of Hope, Hero, Dream Project, and Airline Ambassadors) and working on behalf with local leaders in Ghana, our trip is set to be a ground breaking success.

Check out the Young Leaders and then scroll down to meet Mari and hear what she wants to do to create positive change in the world. You can also read articles on what the youth are saying about the trip, read essays from the winners on what they want to do to change the world. AND MORE!

For the fuller mission and vision go to main site at World Trust .

All my best,

Sandra

IN MY WORK… I have had two clients, one in their later 30s at the time and another in their early 20s and in both cases there was a loss that they never we able to grieve.

The Death of a Sister:  In the first instance this woman lost her sister when she was 9 years old I believe. The sister was slightly older, maybe 11 years old.  She had an asthma attack and things went wrong and she died.  This client never got to say goodbye and when the parents returned home from the hospital and dealing with this, nothing was ever discussed about the incident.

It was in a session doing body work that she came to this realization… SHE NEVER GRIEVED THE DEATH OF HER SISTER.  She not only wanted to yet she needed to in order to honour her emotion: grief, sadness, anger, frustration, love or whatever emotion(s) she buried for so long.  By honouring our emotion we do not hide it, “forget” about it, ignore it, push it aside WE DEAL WITH IT  and as such move through it and then RELEASE IT.  This allows us to move forward in our lives.

The Loss of a Marriage:  When parents separate and divorce it is not only the adults who need to mourn the loss of the marriage however the children as well.  My children did not exhibit the same feelings in the same way I did. Their anger came out about 2 years into the separation.  With professional guidance from many – agencies, therapists, etc., my ex and I were given the tools to deal with it.  The younger client in her 20s during a body energy session realized that she never cried about the loss of her parents marriage. Did it sit with her? Yes, all the time.  It is baby steps and for the first time she did cry.

GOING DOWN THE PATH OF GRIEVING If you choose to go down this path — it may mean taking baby steps.  You may have to go in deep to really discover the emotions that you have surpressed for so long.  Don’t be hard on yourself rather enjoy the journey of awareness, forgiveness of self and others, releasing and letting go and surrendering this to the universe.

LEARN TO LET IT GO!

All my best,

Sandra

I had the opportunity to meet this woman and her daughter through Tom Martin, my media guy. He met these 2 women at a Tony Robbins seminar while in Toronto.  He had passed their names onto me a while ago however we never connected.

We meet…
We finally meet downtown at a Starbucks.  I knew the daughter was attending a University for a degree in Communications and  she had a desire to be in Public Relations.  We met and we all hit it off so well. I told them about my empowerment business. We talked a lot about following our heart and gut, the importance of speaking our truth and most importantly honouring and loving ourself.  I listened to their stories with the same intrigue.

My Offer
I told Sue that I will help her as she was looking for an internship however with the economy hitting the Communications and PR field hard even that has been difficult. I then suggested to her that she intern for me, 2bempowered Inc., to help me brand my work and build my social network presence.  In turn I will empower her in her creativity, guide her myself as well as Tom Martin from Tom Martin Media, New York and another friend who is VP of a PR, Marketing and Communications firm in Toronto.

Took Time To Respond
It took a number of days for her to respond and I was quite surprised. We did connect and she is all excited and ready to go.  I am excited for all of us for it is a win/win situation – she will get her training and exposure in a field that is not even hiring “free labour”, I will get more exposure to empower more people, and Tom Martin will begin to build a “north” presence.

How can you create your own opportunities .. listen to when people talk, ask questions and tell people what you are looking for. Be open to all and every opportunity and be prepared to DO IT FOR FREE.  The experience and exposure that you will gain is immeasurable.  You will open doors that you never new existed.

One complaint about our youth today is that they want it now and they do not want to work for it.  Well, the business world does not work like that.  I encourage everyone to speak their truth and follow their heart however a sense of entitlement is not a welcoming nor admirable position to argue.  You will need to earn your stripes.

All my best,

Sandra

Some of you are too young to really know Michael Jackson – The King of Pop.  He was an amazing musician, artist and visionary. He is also a man who had so much love for the world that he did not resonate with the “popular cultural” way of thinking and believing. He defied a time in which the US showed greed, manipulation, power and competition.  He is someone that just wanted to make the world a better place.

He really did not have a childhood in the traditional sense. He came from such a musical family however it was him who was thrown into the spotlight at such a young age.  His dream of Neverland – the complex he lived on for so many years – was a place where he can be  a child again – like Peter Pan – never wanting to grow up.  I am not talking about his maturity, I mean more him buying into again — the greed, manipulation, etc.

As he became older he resonated less and less with the way “we chose to live”.  In all this he did have his children and from what you hear he was a fabulous father.  He did become more eccentric and moved more and more away from the “popular culture”.  He was, in my opinion, falsely accused of a crime (sexually abusing children/being a pedophile) and it was this that really “broke his heart”.  I do not feel he ever fully recovered from the trials which cleared him in some sense, however some believed and may still that he is guilty of his crime.

Lesson & Awareness — as the children many are coming in with extraordinary talents. I hope that you do not allow “public pressure” to move you along in your childhood quicker than it has to be. This time in your life is so important in your life and YOU CAN NEVER RECAPTURE IT.

Be in the moment and enjoy your age: have fun, laugh, be silly, be adventurous, try new things, fall down and get up again, find you true friends, follow your heart and speak your truth.

I am so proud of my son who is off to camp for the first time. It must be a frightening experience in some ways and exhillirating in others.  He decided to stay for two more weeks even though “he misses me like crazy”. I told him I miss him too. I told him I am so proud of him. I know that this experience will have an impact on who he becomes.

All my love,
Sandra

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