Communication and speaking your truth

Posted Friday, September 14th, 2012. Filed Under My Daily Dose

I love this blog by Seth Godin because he outlines one of the main issues with communication – people do not want to ask the questions or get the response for they may hear what they do not want to hear.

Are we on the same page? Do we want the same thing? Is there a win/win outcome or is it win/lose which means one of us is going to lose?

I tell my friends that asking the questions are scary however it is the only way to clarify where you stand, the situation. We often don’t ask because we don’t want to hear the truth or face the truth. The signs are always there whether you choose to where blinders or not.

I used to be that person who never asked questions and often I was the one disappointed === really I contributed to this.

While he attributes this to the working world it really applies to all aspects of your life.

Here is the blog:

Two questions behind every disagreement

Are we on the same team? and

What’s the right path forward?

Most of time, all we talk about is the path, without having the far more important but much more difficult conversation about agendas, goals and tone.

Is this a matter of respect? Power? Do you come out ahead if I fail? Has someone undercut you? Do we both want the same thing to happen here?

The reason politics in my country is diverging so much from useful governance has nothing to do with useful conversations and insight into what the right path is. It’s because defeat and power and humiliation and money have replaced “doing what works for all of us” as the driving force in politics.

If you feel disrespected, the person you disagree with is not going to be a useful partner in figuring out what the right path going forward might be. If one party (employee/customer/investor) only wins when the other party loses, what’s the point of talking about anything but that?

Deal with the agenda items and the dignity problems first before you try to work out the right strategic choices.

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