Creating New Beginnings

Posted Friday, October 14th, 2016. Filed Under Voices of wisdom

For the longest time I have been working hard to release old anger, frustration, sadness, worry, guilt and even hatred — all of the lower energies that have held me for the last 10+ years. By letting go and what I mean by that is not necessarily forgetting however not letting that energy control my outcome or thoughts, has enabled me to open myself up to receive what I do want. I mentioned in an earlier post that I am more myself than I have ever been. The truth is I am more “my truth” than ever before, resulting in a “new me”.

I have seen so many people go through transformations, loss, and change just like I did, of course they had their own situations and journey to experience. What I am seeing now is many people creating new beginnings. Some of this has been forced on them (packaged out of a job, spouse leaving them, and so on) and some have consciously chosen this path. I see that I am still looking to break some old patterns in order to fully embrace my new beginnings.

I am determined to do so. Sometimes I can be drawn back into old patters without even knowing it and only when I am asked good, tough, soul-searching questions, do I realize I am doing so. I recently received a call from an ex-boyfried. This is a man I thought I was going to marry so he’s more than someone I casually dated. He wanted to meet for coffee/drinks. I was taken aback as this man walked out of my life nearly three years ago and we have not had contact since. I ran into him once for 5 minutes and that was it. He recently came out of a 2 year relationship and for his own reasons he decided to call me.

I was reticent to meet, not because of any anger or sadness, rather I thought what was the point. I knew from mutual people that he had not changed and still had some of the issues that concerned me the first time; things that I discovered and were not fully addressed.

We did meet and it was nice to see him. We caught up. I felt like he was feeling me out to see how I would respond. I too just came out of a dating situation so we are both free to date if we want. I do care for him but do not feel that emotional connection I once did. When we left we hugged and his comment to me was, “so are you going to call me?” and my response was, “so are you going to call ME? I took a few days and then decided that like the good person that I am that I should send him an email to say, “hey let’s just be friends.” This is my old pattern: making sure everyone is ok. Or maybe it’s me who needs to say that to feel better.

The truth is that this man is not someone you just be friends with, that is not his M.O. My friend asked me if I am sending the email out of duty or guilt or because I want to rekindle something. And she said, I am making an assumption that he wants to be more than friends. Good point. Knowing this man so well and following my intuition I knew that he was feeling me out to see if I would open a crack. I don’t want to. The fact is that he has as much of a decision to contact me as I do him. Seeing as though he did not take this opportunity to rekindle and discuss why and how our relationship ended is enough for me to step back and say to myself, if someone really wants something they go after it and in this case if he wanted to open up the door he would take those next steps.

Part of my new beginnings is putting out to the universe the type of relationships, both personal and professional I am looking for. In this case, I do not want to be the pursuer.

As I come out of the Jewish New Year and we enter a full moon, I am looking to release remnants of my old ways that have held me back. I am really looking forward to this year and opening myself up to new beginnings and that begins with new thinking and believing patterns.

I don’t know where each of you are at however I encourage you to take some time as we approach Thanksgiving in the USA and the New Year – Jan. 1st (around the corner!) and look at patterns of behaviour and thought that may be holding you back. I know I have asked this before however it is an ongoing process. Just as you clean you computer of viruses every so often, so too do we want to clean our “head” computer (thoughts) and heart (feelings)”.

I want to wish all of you a wonderful weekend ahead. It’s baby steps like always.

All my love,

Sandra

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