I Need To Set Boundaries

Posted Thursday, May 21st, 2009. Filed Under Voices of wisdom

I have become an associate memember of Spirituelle Divas – a group of like-minded women who are on their own paths of awareness who support, ecourage and empower one another. There are study groups, events, seminars, workshops and more.
I have joined the group of women studying the Tao Te Ching – Dr. Wayne Dyer’s version. I have a different version of this work – I find it is good to have a variety of thought. This past week the topic of boundaries came up. I know that there are no coincidences for this is the workshop that I am working on right now that I will host next Thursday and Saturday. I chose this for this is something that me, myself constantly struggle with – setting boundaries with family, my ex, the lawyers, friends, etc. It is something that is in our everyday life.
Recently, I was on a cruise for a week and I shared the topics of my workshops with a lovely couple I met who happen to live in the same city as me and the woman told me that even to this day – she is in her late 60s/early 70s – she finds it difficult to say no to her children. In this case, we can sometimes find ourselves enabling our children. Learning to educate and empower our children that speaking their truth is good however lack of gratitude for things, having a sense of entitlement, and just pacifying our children is not the answer and can lead to creating behaviours in our children that in the long run do not benefit them.

For me it was hard to say no for I was the girl who always did the right thing. If I wanted to say no and didn’t it often came down to, “I feel guilty”. I was the one that people always relied on – especially to say yes. For many, many years I did so and then I took a course and realized that it is ok to say no and NOT FEEL GUILTY. Wow, what a revelation. I understood that saying NO was ok however if I said yes than I have no right to complain for I made that decision.

To me “boundaries” is about loving and honouring yourself. You are saying that “you are not allowed to bring your negative energy into my space; that you cannot make me feel guitly anymore; that I know who I am and NO ONE can bring me down”. It is also about saying YES THIS IS WHO I AM AND I BELIEVE IN MYSELF NO MATTER WHAT YOU THINK OR FEEL ABOUT ME”.

Love, honour and believe in yourself!!

All my best,



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