It looks right on paper…

Posted Friday, December 16th, 2016. Filed Under Voices of wisdom

Imagine the perfect job on paper, the perfect guy on paper, or the perfect house on paper. On paper everything looks right and yet it just doesn’t work out.

I was reminded of this while watching Bridget Jones’ Baby the other night. While the movie was OK this theme was prevalent. As a quick synopsis: Bridget ends up sleeping with two guys, one a former love, Mark Darcy, and the other man, Jack, is someone she just met. It turns out she is pregnant and does not know who the father is. Her former love, Mark Darcy, is someone she dated 10 years on and off and it just never ended in marriage: his work came first all the time. In the end Mark married someone else however this marriage ends and this is when they reconnect. The second man, Jack, an American, she meets at a music event and sleeps with him once. She discovers after that he a very successful dating guru who has not found the “right” match for himself despite his great success in creating an algorithm to helps other find their perfect match.

What is interesting in the movie when Jack runs his “match test” to see how he and Bridget fair they have a 97% compatibility rate versus Mark and her who only have an 8% compatibility rate. It would seem that she should choose Jack, who in the movie becomes head over heels with her and this unborn child that may or may not be his. So the question bears … do we rely on what the computers tell us and buy into this completely or is there a human factor which is not always explainable?

This can be applied to how we hire people for jobs, how we choose our mate/date, in fact it can be applied to everything. We have become an online world and in doing so I believe we have come to rely too much on the algorithms and less on our human gut. Sometimes everything seems right yet we have this feeling that it is not.

This year I have experienced this more than ever in my dating life and while looking for a home. On paper I met a man who was perfect for me. He had everything I was looking for however it just didn’t work out. We love each other as friends and that’s it. I recently had a different experience with someone else where I began to feel something that I just couldn’t describe (a good feeling) and it shocked me how this feeling took me by surprise. On paper, this man is not my perfect match yet there it was this indescribable feeling that captured my attention and heart.

As humans we want the sure thing, the explainable thing, and the safe thing. However, this is not always the right thing for us.
I cannot speak for any of you but for me I realized that I cannot ignore my human gut feeling. In fact, I have come to rely on it more and more as my truth. If someone comes into my life and there is something about that person I really like, I will forge a relationship. If, conversely, I feel something is not right or warning me then I will listen to my inner voice and move away.

I want to challenge each of you to really go within and listen to your inner voice. I made some big mistakes in my life where I made decisions based on what looked “right on paper” and didn’t follow my gut. In the end I suffered until I did take responsibility and listen to this voice. People will encourage you to do the “right” thing because that is how we are taught. I believe they do want the best for you however you know what is best for you, if you choose to listen.

If you are hiring someone for work and on paper they look great but something in you tells you otherwise, follow your gut. And if that person that doesn’t have all of the experiences that you want but you feel good about it, go for it, hire them. We rely too heavily on computers and less on our human innate feelings. Let’s use technology as it’s meant to be used – a tool and resource. Let’s use our innate abilities – what separates us from computer – our ability to feel. I know that artificial intelligence is working on this – maybe they should stop and just let computers do what they are meant to do – assist us, make our work /life easier – and let humans be what they are meant to be – heart energy and love and compassion and feeling.

In the end of the movie Bridget goes with her gut. (Don’t want to spoil the movie).

As I end 2016 this is something I will consider when setting my intentions for 2017: Ask myself what is right for me and what makes me feel good, both personally and professionally. When you come from a place of knowing and feeling it is much easier to manifest what you want; everything from within is aligned.

I hope you have a wonderful weekend. We are about to enter into Mercury Retrograde often known for delays and communication issues. We are also approaching the winter Solstice this week. For those in the northern hemisphere it is the shortest day of the year and for others the longest. Same coin different sides. Enjoy and rest up for the coming year. Let’s make it a great ride.

All my love,


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