June continues to be a month to address old patterns

Posted Friday, June 5th, 2015. Filed Under Voices of wisdom

It is interesting when I gauge where I was one year ago today. It is this month last year when my world fell apart and it was like the floor was pulled out beneath me. There were some big changes happening – not things in my control however they did impact me greatly.

At this time last year I felt like I was in the midst of a whirling blackness – it felt as though it would never subside. One year later it has. That is what is so great about time and perspective.

I learned, grew and empowered myself in so many ways and still a little more to go in certain areas.

I have taken full responsibility for my work and am creating projects to get paid. The traditional route of earning money by working for someone wasn’t opening up. I was sending out resume after resume to no response. It was actually quite debilitating. I did get brought down however thank goodness I brought myself out of this feeling and took the bull by the horns. Now I am creating more and more projects.

This past year I have been working on changing my thought and behaviour patters – mostly my inner voice talking to me; self-talk – the words I say to myself. This is a big part of shifting the outcome to what I desire. I have been pretty successful however there are days (like all of us have) that pull me back. What I try and do is then recover quickly and put myself back on track.

The areas I am focussing on are:

Relationship with myself (empowerment)
Relationship with my children
Relationship with my family and friends
Relationship with a partner
My work
My ex

At various times I am presented with challenges that allow me to see how my thinking, words and behaviour have changed. Sometimes I do better than others. For me what moves me along is when I can sit back and ponder, “Hum how did that go?”

My son has a concussion and of course my ex and I want the best for him. Unfortunately I got pulled into old patterns yesterday and after a harsh discussion with my brother – I just wanted to vent – he threw back some perspective which last night I was able to think about. I don’t always love his tactics but I know he does it with love. What I came to realize, which is something I already know, is that my ex works on extremes. He did this throughout our marriage and he has done it through the last 9+ years of our separation/divorce. When I finally realized that his words really are just that words – I put it all aside. In truth I want to minimize my topic of him to friends and family to nearly nothing unless it’s important.

Why hand away my power when I am in full control? As for my children, I want to protect them. I will still do so for my younger one, however my older one is 15 1/2 and needs to stand up for what he believes in.

Where I am seeing great change in what I am attracting to me is in my personal life and my work. I am so happy.

This morning as I ran out to pick up bagels and coffee I looked to the car beside me and the licence plate said Lfisgd (something like that) – life is good!

This month there is more opportunity to discard old patterns and behaviours. I plan on it. I want to move into the next 6 month cycle of the year thinking, feeling, behaving and choosing words that express who I am and where I am at.

And so I leave you on that note for the weekend. Life is good. I usually say, all is good.

Words do count and do have meaning. I am very cognizant of this and therefore choose my words carefully.

Love ya bro… The funny thing is that he could care less what people think – including what I think, so maybe that’s the route to take. He follows his own truth.

I am looking forward to a weekend of relaxing, recharging and getting ready for new projects.

I want to wish everyone a wonderful weekend.

All my love,

Sandra

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