Kinky Boots …. some great life lessons

Posted Friday, March 18th, 2016. Filed Under Voices of wisdom

I have now seen the play Kinky Boots twice. I enjoyed it equally. In fact, I may have enjoyed it more the second time for I was able to pay attention to other details. Some of those were the messages from the play. The first time I sat through the play I was being thoroughly entertained by the different characters in the play. I am so happy that I had the same cast both times.

If you have a chance to see this play I highly recommend it, you will not be disappointed.

One of the messages that really stood out for me was when Lola, a drag queen is “challenged” by one of the tough guys in the shoe factory to prove “himself”. Lola is the alter ego of Simon. Simon/Lola suggests that they each write on a piece of paper a challenge for the other person to do. The tough guy challenges Lola to a boxing match. What tough guy does not know is that Simon’s father was a trained fighter and taught his son “LOLA” how to fight. He won awards and despite preferring to dress as a woman he knows his moves. I won’t tell you who won the fight… leave you to see it.

The real message came from what Simon/Lola wrote on his piece of paper.
It simply said, “To accept someone for who they are”. Now those are simple words with a request that most people find challenging. When presented the challenge the tough guy laughed … mostly because he did not really understand the request.

I think most people do not truly understand that request. What does it mean to accept someone for who they are? We want to change, fix, suggest, alter and even judge others. I do my best to accept people for who they are yet there are times when I have been challenged. For me, accepting others sometimes means moving away from them. I don’t want to change anyone. I want people to be who they are.. I just get to choose who I let into my world. I may accept you but may not align with your thinking and/or belief system.

That’s ok. There are some who feel that way about me. As long as we are respectful to one another I am ok.

In the play the tough guy is given the opportunity to accept someone who is acting rash and even rude. While this is out of character for this character the lesson is gained for all.

Lola is not the one the tough guy learns to accept it is someone else; it’s Charlie the shoe factory owner who takes over the factor after his father dies. Desperate to save the shoe factory, Charlie meets Lola on a chance encounter. They come together to design shoes for the drag queens and transvestites and will showcase in Milan but time is short. Along the way Charlie loses his sensitivity and leadership. He becomes tyrant-like. On his way to showcase Lola’s designs in Milan he himself, realizes how rude, mean and irrational he became. Not only does the tough guy learn to accept Charlie understanding that he is driven for the greater good to save the factory and the very jobs these people held, rather Charlie learns to accept himself, the real Charlie.

Sometimes the hardest person to accept is yourself. I have discovered that is where it really begins. Today I was talking to a friend and she said to me, “You need to stop being so hard on yourself.” I told her that I am changing that and I am stopping to be so hard on myself. It means letting go of my perfectionist side as well as my high expectations.

I am replacing those ways with trusting and believing. Shifting paradigms within is work and work that I believe is worthwhile. I see the outcome and things are shifting.

For those who read this, in what ways do you not accept yourself? Others? Do you expect people to think like you? Dress like you? Act like you? OR are you accepting of others?

I propose a challenge as we approach Easter Weekend next weekend. This is a big time for gathering and being around a lot of people, some we like and some we don’t care for. I challenge you, as Lola challenged tough guy, “Learn to accept someone for who they are.”

It will be an interesting weekend next week. If you struggle walk away and later ask yourself what bothered you about that person or people? Were you judging or accepting? What did you learn about yourself?

I want to wish everyone a wonderful weekend and Happy Spring for those in the northern Hemisphere. With a solar eclipse, Equinox, full moon and lunar eclipse the energy is DYNAMIC to say the least.

All my love,

Sandra

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