Posted Friday, October 9th, 2009. Filed Under Voices of wisdom

On the way down to dinner last week I got into a great debate about mentoring. I said that it is too bad that there is no mentoring anymore in businesses. I continued that because of the “old way of thinking – competition, greed, manipulation and what’s in it for me – has stopped people from sharing for the fear that if you teach someone and give them too much knowledge they will replace you”. He said that this thinking still exists and even he has trained so many people in his field, mortgages, and once they learn everything they seem to leave and search for more. He shared a story of a friend of his wanting to change careers and go into another area of business. He happened to have a women friend in this area so he asked if his friend can speak to this man as she has been in the line of business he is interested in for over 25 years.

When he followed up with his friend he asked how the information session went. His friend told him that this women really didn’t share much. When this guy called his women friend to talk he asked why she did not share more of her knowledge and she said, “if I give all of my secrets away then this person can take some of my business away from me”.

Rather than sharing, this person only gave a small piece of her knowledge. What is puzzling to me is that IS THIS NOT THE ESSENCE OF MENTORING? — sharing, guiding, teaching, expanding ones’ knowledge to the point that the “chick is ready to leave the nest and all she needs is a gentle push”. It is to create and expand vs. reduce and eliminate.


To me, mentoring was a way to shape the future of your company; Teach them all that you know so that when you leave you will have a strong foundation and continue practices and skill sets that are working. It was a way for the “new kid” to learn and fall down, like a baby learning to walk, and get up again. Also a way for the company to shape these people.

With the increase of fear in our business world, mentoring has completely gone by the way side — at least in the old school type of business.

Thank goodness there has been some paradigm shifts in our business commnunity. We see this in companies like Google and Zappos, 2 of many, where there is no separation – people come together and collaborate. I remember watching Oprah and the CEO of Zappos was on Skype talking about the business and you can see that his desk is a cubicle just like everyone elses amongst his workers. He was part of the team. This company is extremely successful.

First and formost people need to know there is enough for everyone. Second, is that even if I did teach someone all that I know, the person taking everything in will take what resonates AND THEN MAKE IT THEIR OWN. It is so critical that you find YOUR WAY and DECIDE WHAT WORKS FOR YOU.

I happened to be at a Tony Robbins Toronto Power Group two nights ago — I will not say it was an accident for I do not believe in this — it was meant to be even if I thought I was going to hear Loren Slocum (who was speaking) talk about her book Life Tuneups. Well to my surprise when I sat down all this cheering and dancing began, the Tony Robbins “thing” and I just decided to be in the moment and go with the flow.

In this learing session the idea of mentoring was brought up — knowing that MENTORING can come from many ways/sources – READING, LISTENING TO CDs, WATCHING DVDs, attending events and courses, a friend or even a stranger. All of these are important as tools and guidance systems to bring you along in your journey of awareness. WHAT I REALIZED FROM THIS EVENT, is that so many of these people are looking to “copy” Tony Robbins and do what he did. Even though Loren kept reiterating that YOU MUST MAKE THIS YOUR OWN, the message is a bit conflicting for there is much talk of Tony’s 3 points of this, and 7 points of that (I cannot remember all of them) so I wasn’t sure how you can completely make this your own when there is a system to follow.

MY IDEA OF MENTORING TODAY — first and formost there are no gurus as we are all equal and the answer lies within each of us. Where mentoring is important, is the guiding part, teaching, sharing knowlege and moving people along in their journey of awareness — empowering them so that they recognize their own amazing potential. A mentor may be a catalyst in another person’s growth. The mentor encourages a person to be true to who they are and to take things and make them their own.

I have an idea I am working on which includes this type of mentoring. It means reducing fear — thus the person teaching and guiding is supportive, encouraging and empowering. I want to reach into the population of people who have been forced to retire even though they are so valuable to our society and youth and share their knowledge, experiences and wisdom. I am sure that the learning will be two ways. I am excited about this endeavour and I put it out to the univers.

I cannot wait to unfold this idea. In the meantime, read and listen to others who you deem “successful” – take what resonates and PLEASE MAKE IT YOUR OWN for it is your life and you need to be the main actor in your own life not playing the role of someone else.

That’s it for today. Have a GREAT day.

All my love,



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  1. Pamela Miles on October 17th, 2009 2:15 pm


    You make a very good point about a new way of looking at mentoring.

    One more suggestion for anyone interested in supporting your idea: consider giving someone who naturally mentors your business to encourage them to continue to do so!

    At my hair salon (of all places) I’ve watched how many people come up to my hair colorist (oh yes, this is an every 6 weeks routine visit) and ask her for advice. Even when she shampoo’s my hair, she is always showing the other shampoor’s (is that a word?) what little trick they can do to make the experience better for the client… without ever interrupting the bliss I am experiencing in her hands!

    I love being a part of her sharing and helping others. And by the way, she is a fabulous teacher AND colorist!


  2. Sandra on October 17th, 2009 2:21 pm

    Pamela, thank you for your comment. I speak to so many amazing women and they have great insight and great suggestions yet they feel that they cannot write or who will listen. Please know that your words can impact the life of many and even if it only impacted one life– how great is that.
    All my love,


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