This week I met with my mastermind group on the Monday. This group is tremendous – we challenge, push and support one another to the next levels of our growth whether it is personal and/or professional. It seems to be that we follow trends for the week. Last week was about acceptance in one form or another and this week was about self-worth and nurturing one’s self.

I was talking with one of the woman in the group and said that it is much easier to be the one challenging versus the one being challenged. It takes tremendous courage, strength and of course awareness to address some of the core beliefs/issues and habits that you want to alter, change or release.

This week I was challenged with a question, “Am I attached to my work — youth mentoring programs OR am I committed to it?” This was in reference to a program that I developed in collaboration with CARP. At least that is what I thought. I approached them on a youth mentoring idea that brings the youth and baby boomers together. Lack of communication and two different ultimate intentions moved us along in creating a great program however at the end of it CARP took this program and has decided to run it nationally to all their members and thanked me for being their liaison. I was NOT their liaison, in my mind I was in a joint venture. I say, “In my mind” because that is the story I created. When I discovered their intention my ego went into full force. I was so upset…. My goodness this was my program too. I became attached to this program rather than being committed to it. When I allowed myself to step back and evaluate I realized (with much guidance from my friends) that I was part of a great idea that took hold and is being copied in other schools. What an honour to the program! I will take my credit. I also evaluated what I learned from this project and what part I was going to take out of it. CARP didn’t own the rights to the program as much as I did not own the rights to this program.

I had the same right to take what I wanted from this and make it my own. By being attached to this program I allowed my ego to take control and bring in lower energy (anger, frustration, and disappointment) versus being committed to the intention of the program – the student’s learning life skills and creating an intergenerational relationship and the benefits of this — opening up to the possibilities of creating and being innovative.

I see, this is an unresolved area that I must address. I was faced with another incident that brought this to light. I was sharing ideas with my boyfriend of how he can create the corporate culture he desires. He presented some of those ideas at work and they were well received. When he shared the story I was really happy for him and then I asked the ego question, “Did you tell them it was my idea?”. He looked at me and said no. My first reaction was “but it was my idea” and then I stepped back and said to myself and then to him — I know where this feeling comes from and I don’t like it. It comes from my inner child (that is a technical term) who has fought her whole life to be told she is good enough, smart enough and just wants to receive the accolades that she deserves. I am very well aware of this “story” that I have been telling myself. It showed me I still have work to do around this area and that I do not need the external “feedings” of this rather be at a point of true self worth, knowing that I am smart enough, good enough and that my ideas are great. More importantly to me, I want to be in the place that when I share a great idea and it is received that I can let it go and not be attached to it.

That is not to say that I will hand away my work and ideas – no I will stand my ground when I need. However, to be in my greatest self, I can know that it is enough that my idea is being executed and/or copied; is that not the greatest form of flattery? In truth, many of my ideas are the amalgamation of many other peoples’ ideas.

If you are finding yourself being “attached” versus “committed to” sit back and ask yourself: Is this my ego or my truth? If you are honest with yourself you will know the difference. Attachment comes from a place of fear and control and commitment comes from a place of growth and innovation. I choose to be committed to my work, to my family, to my friends and so on. I will break this habit and pattern however, like all things, it is baby steps.

I want to wish all of the father’s out there a very happy Father’s Day and for those honouring their father’s know that he did the best that he can; he only knows what he knows. Learn to love him unconditionally.

Have a wonderful weekend.

All my love,

Sandra

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