What an incredible experience…

Posted Wednesday, October 10th, 2012. Filed Under Voices of wisdom

Tuesdays are busy days for me. There is bar mitzvah lessons, Hebrew school, and football. Of course on top of that is making dinner. So its a busy day, right I mean we all have busy days. Thank goodness I have incredible support from my boyfriend, who helps me with the kids.

It didn’t start off so well. My younger son slept through his alarm and when that happens it is not a good start to the day. So it took a lot of time and effort to get him out of bed and off to school.

When he came home from school he was in good spirits … that made me happy. Then off to Hebrew school. He makes well known, this is not his favourite. Yet he got in the car, we picked up his brother from his bar mitzvah class and then they were dropped off. When I picked up my older son for football (he leaves early) he told me that his brother was “in trouble” and being talked to. I’m thinking, “great, I already had a tough morning”. I dropped my older son off and then met my boyfriend and younger son at home for dinner.

When I walked in he was doing his homework (which of course made me happy). When we sat down I asked him what happened at Hebrew school. He gave me his version: “he was doing his work, they were all talking in a group, one of the teachers came over and took his work from him and then told the woman in charge that he wasn’t doing his work. This woman took him down to the office and said she was going to call his parent(s). I didn’t get the call and my ex was out of town. She also told him (his perception) that if he didn’t do his work he was going to lose his right to having his bar mitzvah”.

After hearing this, I told him that he will have his bar mitzvah and I will deal with this. He said there were two teachers and the one who took his paper away wasn’t one he liked or connected with. Again, I told him I believed him. I did ask him if there is anything that he didn’t tell me. I promised not to get mad – did he instigate or be rude. No, he was just talking loud.

That night I received a call from the woman in charge that day. She was calling to talk to me about my son. More importantly she was calling to apologize to both me and him for her behaviour. She told me that she did not handle the situation well. I relayed all that my son told me and that he felt he was being singled out from all the other kids and he was doing his work. He said of the two teachers he liked one versus the other. We talked in greater detail about different strategies for my son and how to inspire him and get him to have a positive experience while at religious school.

I went down and told him of the phone call and we called the person back so that he could talk to her. They both exchanged apologies and agreed to come up with strategies that will work for both.

I was soooooooo proud of my son for his maturity and ability to express himself. He was speaking the truth. What was so incredibly inspiring was the call from this woman. She took responsibility for her actions and choices. She called to say sorry to a 10 year old. I felt that was an important message for my son, that adults make mistakes and can own up to them. I sent her a separate message to say thank you for what she did. I have a lot of respect for this woman.

I gave my son a big hug and told him how proud I am of him. He smiled like, “I know”. Both my children inspire me every day.

All I can say, is take those precious moments and acknowledge them. We have a lot to learn from our children. If we expect respect and truth from our children, then we too need to give the same.

I want to wish everyone a wonderful weekend.

All my love,

Sandra

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