What happens to “stuff” from our past?

Posted Friday, February 3rd, 2012. Filed Under Voices of wisdom

I have spent the last decade and primarily the last 6 years going within to look at who I am. I have looked at my core beliefs, my behaviour patterns, my habits and so on to see which part of these I like and want to keep versus those that are not me and have been handed down from generation to generation; a cycle. I know that the more I am true to me, the more I will live my life to the fullest and in peace and calm.

It meant taking a hard look in the mirror and seeing what parts of me I like and which parts I do not. I have gladly handed back those parts that do not belong to me. This took courage and awareness. Not everyone is aware.

So what happens when you are not aware or avoid those “bad” patterns in your life? Do we just forget and bury those incidents from our past and never see them again? Where do these memories sit?

I have a dear friend who lost her father recently and we were talking and she said to me that the stuff from her past hasn’t really affected her. I didn’t say anything however I found that comment interesting since I see that she is an avoider and doesn’t want to see some of her relationships for what they are. In the last year she has had neck and back problems, she had an issue with her eyes.

When we choose to avoid dealing with patterns in our life a couple of things happen. First, we create this great story for ourselves that we live by. I know because I was one of those people. What is your story you tell yourself? For me it was that I wasn’t supported by my parents, they give all of their attention to my younger brother, people compared me to my twin brother – I was the pretty one and he is the smart one. STORIES. There is no truth to our stories unless we give them credence. I have since changed my story … not only am I beautiful – inside and out – I am smart and giving and caring and my work is making a difference in the life of the young people.

Second, where do all of these memories (good or bad) sit? In our bodies. And yes, our bodies are always talking to us. But mostly we do not know nor understand that the “pain” you are feeling comes from something that happened before, sometimes years and decades. I did an energy session on a woman in her 30s yesterday and we did somebody energy work. She complained about her lower abdomen — it was hot and uncomfortable. So we went “into” her body part and began to explore. What came out was that she was holding a very traumatic experience that happened to her when she was 14 years old. This is where is settled. Not only did she hold the memory but the “side effect” is this incident shaped her future choices and decisions – or might I say lack of. While I was doing the work on her I felt a heaviness in my chest – like I could not breathe and my legs were stuck to the ground. Whatever she experienced was holding her back from moving forward. What I love about body energy work is that she discovered the incident, she embraced the emotions of what she felt at the time and then was able to let them go. We continued with energy healing to bring a feeling of safety. How this presented itself now is that every time she felt like she was in this dark and fearful place, she shut down and could not move forward. So she did not speak her truth and move forward in certain areas of her life. By creating that space of trust she can now move through the dark events and know that there is light at the end of the tunnel. As we did this my legs became less heavy – at first I felt stuck like I could not move however over time, this became less until my legs moved freely and I could breathe much easier.

It was an extraordinary experience for her. Over time she forgot about the scary incident when she was 14 however she stored it in her body and subconscious mind and this feeling has been driving her since. By embracing and releasing she is no longer bound to this and can change her response and outcome.

I watched an interesting movie called The Tree Of Life, with Brad Pitt and it was existential and questioned our relationship to G-d. The movie was set in the late 1950s I believe and you see how the harsh treatment of the father (played by Brad Pitt) on a young boy affects him as he grows and becomes an adult. He is struggling from within and without. Our Stuff! He also lost his younger brother, whom he was very close to. You could visually feel and see the conflict the boy and later man felt.

Do not think or believe for a second that our past does not have an impact on our lives, for it does. The question becomes, how are you going to let this impact your life, your choices and your outcome? That is up to you. Figure out your story or stories. What part of them is true, not true, belong to you, belong to someone else?

We can look at our past as a gift that can give us the awareness and perspective of what we want versus what we do not want. Keep what feels right and makes sense and let the rest go. I know it is not that easy. Perhaps you will need to seek a professional. Whomever you choose, know you are whole and there is nothing wrong with you. Hopefully this person will help you peel away the layers to your truth, who you are and then you can live your life to the fullest and as you choose.

Have a wonderful weekend!

All my love,


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