When the idea of “It’s never too late” no longer fits

Posted Friday, December 20th, 2013. Filed Under My Daily Dose

In Martha Beck’s article, To-Do List, or Not-to-Do-List, she shares a story about a friend she had when she was 21 who was complaining that ‘her last three months sucked’. She told Martha that she had the last 10 pounds to lose and she wouldn’t let herself leave her room, only to go to class, until she hit her goal. She told Martha, this is the year to start living. Two days later her friend was killed in a traffic accident.

We put off things until reach our goal. I call this putting the carrot in front of us thinking that when we get the carrot we will be happier. Here’s the thing you will never get the carrot and you will never reach that happiness. Even it you do reach your goal are you really happy or are you looking to the next thing you must achieve.

Happiness is a choice and it begins NOW.

Martha Beck says, “Living your life’s purpose happens when you begin choosing the state of mind that feels the most fundamentally correct for you.”

She lists 5 areas to begin living now and let go of “It’s too late to…”:

1. It’s too late to get a completely different body:

You can make alterations to your body – lose weight, liposuction, plastic surgery – and so forth. You have one face and one body. Instead of wishing for something else it is time to appreciate your body. It is time to admire your body. Even if for a moment. Say to yourself, “For this one instant, I accept my body completely.”

Self-acceptance can help you experience what Dr. Herbert Benson called the relaxation response. This is the state in which your body can calm down and heal.

2. It’s too late to live without purpose:

Our purpose manifests in the way we orient ourselves to experience. What do you dwell on? Do you dwell on the insults from your ex or do you value the wisdom you gained from the relationship?

Living your life’s purpose happens when you begin choosing this state of mind that feels the most fundamentally correct for you. When you are in your truth you feel this and know you are on purpose. You will feel joy, lightness and peace. When you move away from your truth you will begin to feel it physically and emotionally – tension, stress headache, sadness, anger, frustration.

Follow your heart and be on purpose.

3. It’s too late to live an ego candy:

Ego candy is when you do something for the purposes of how it may look to others. A person that is a doctor yet dislikes people and chooses this profession to tell people she is a doctor. This is ego candy.

You can change this by how you feel, think, believe and act.

Think of something that you want to achieve just because:
“I’d want to have this experience even if no one else would ever know I had.”

How you respond to others:
“I feel no inferiority, jealousy or competitiveness around people who have done this thing, and no superiority toward people who haven’t.”

When you see your ego emerging, honour it and then put it aside and go to a place of compassion.

4. It’s too late to turn toxic people into healthy ones:

Do you have a relationship that you have done everything for? Been the one who is putting in all the effort? Or a relationship that is so draining? AND you have given all the support you can, all the advice you can yet your friend just wants to be unhappy and complaining about the same ‘ol things.

Maybe it is time to look at this friendship and ask yourself if this a mutually beneficial relationship? Do you feel that you are getting something out of this relationship other than just being drained? I realize there are times where you may give more than you receive however it’s important to give without expecting something in return.

Surround yourself with people who really like you for you and want to be around you – value and respects you and vice versa.

5. It’s too late to feel guilty about enjoying simple things:

Put time to the little things in life. Many times people forget how much pleasure we get from the simple things in life. We are so busy with the bigger things like our mortgage, paying for education and so on.

We can get so wrapped up in working so hard to accomplish the BIG THINGS only to realize that we are so burnt out we cannot even enjoy it.

Go back to the story I began with… life is short. It is time to enjoy the little things that often are the very things that bring us joy and laughter.

Today spend an hour savouring a simple pleasure.

Stop filling your buckets with things that don’t matter or work. Learn to give up and let go of things that can’t be changed and embrace what makes you feel good and that you love.

Be in the moment and happy now!

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