When we please, we lose out

Posted Friday, August 5th, 2011. Filed Under Voices of wisdom

I spent most of my life being a pleaser until I finally realized that by pleasing others I was the one in the end being shortcut. Why? In my teenage years I was pretty good at stating my ground and following my heart and truth. Then as I got into my 20s I began to question and really vie for the approval of my father, my boss and sometimes even friends. I felt that I needed to take into consideration how others felt and then make my decision.

Please do not get me wrong, I still do that however I make my decisions from truth and know that once I decide to do something I do not feel any guilt. As well, I can also say no when I feel that it is not in my truth.

Some of you may be able to relate to being a pleaser. I spent from 20 – 40 years old putting others first at the cost of my own happiness. I would be at one party or place and all I would think about is that I needed to show up to another party and in the end I didn’t enjoy either party.

One of the great life lessons we can give the young is that by learning to speak our truth in a way that is respectful will serve them through their life and show them how to live the life that they want. I am not talking about teaching our young to manipulate situations or lie rather to speak up and that it’s ok.

The interesting thing that between the age of 15 and 19 years I spoke my truth and challenged everything. Isn’t that what a teenager is meant to do? If someone had told me to continue to do so and showed me how to do it in a way that was kind and respectful I believe I would have made different choices.

I would not change my journey for I love where I am at right now and it has led me to my own truth and awareness of who I am, what I want and most important, to me, my passion and purpose.

For those that feel that you are too old to change and/or to have the life that you want … YOU ARE WRONG. The first step is to begin to be true to you. Make sure you surround yourself by people who love and honour you and can be honest with you when you fall into the trap of pleasing. Let them push and challenge you to see if what you are saying or agreeing to, is really your truth.

Everyone deserves to be happy.

I want to wish everyone a wonderful summer weekend.

All my love,


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One Response to “When we please, we lose out”

  1. Rich Girl on August 10th, 2011 10:28 am

    I totally agree with you! I also always tried to please everyone and put myself and my true desires at the very last. Now, I try to only do what I feel is right for me. Some people don’t understand it, but I need to learn to be please myself first.


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